It is good to know in these times of adversity - as the world around us seems to be closing down and closing in, whilst simultaneously shutting down and shutting up - that one publisher is determined to continue expanding its output and with it our diminished horizons. Long the go-to specialists for all things Dorset, Unique Dorset ... Magazines has been serving niche interests and supporting closet obsessions for more than a generation.
So as we all climb back into our closets both physically and metaphorically [more and less willingly according to individual circumstance] and prepare for the long-haul, it is good to know that the publishers [parent company The Threadbone Press [International Magazines DIvision]] is launching five new titles to stand alongside old favourites Unique Dorset Homes and Unique Dorset Gnomes, as well as the more mainstream Unique Dorset Artefacts, Unique Dorset Domes, Unique Dorset Cones, Unique Dorset Phones, Unique Dorset Crones, Unique Dorset Scones, Unique Dorset Loans, Unique Dorset Combs, Unique Dorset Bowls and Unique Dorset Aeroplanes Women and Tractors.
It is good to know in these times of adversity - as the world around us seems to be closing down and closing in, whilst simultaneously shutting down and shutting up - that one publisher is determined to continue expanding its output and with it our diminished horizons. Long the go-to specialists for all things Dorset, Unique Dorset ... Magazines has been serving niche interests and supporting closet obsessions for more than a generation. So as we all climb back into our closets both physically and metaphorically [more and less willingly according to individual circumstance] and prepare for the long-haul, it is good to know that the publishers [parent company The Threadbone Press [International Magazines DIvision]] is launching five new titles to stand alongside old favourites Unique Dorset Homes andUnique Dorset Gnomes, as well as the more mainstream Unique Dorset Artefacts, Unique Dorset Domes, Unique Dorset Cones, Unique Dorset Phones, Unique Dorset Crones, Unique Dorset Scones, Unique Dorset Loans, Unique Dorset Combs, Unique Dorset Bowls and Unique Dorset Aeroplanes Women and Tractors.
The five new titles - Unique Dorset Cranes, Unique Dorset Chains, Unique Dorset Trains, Unique Dorset Plains and Unique Dorset Drains will all be available early next week as part of a new Express Online Delivery System [EODS] designed to bring the latest fetish to your bedroom door without significant friction [or rather no more friction than specifically required "to pull it off successfully"]. A team of more than one has spent several hours road-testing the delivery system and the publishers believe the digital pipeline will soon be at full flow with little or know blow-back.
"Suddenly staying in won't seem so dull", says project coordinator and Unique Dorset Magazines sub-editor Galli Pruuf, "you'd be surprised, for example, just how many drain enthusiasts have already been in touch to say how much involuntary incarceration is interfering with their mental health. I know they probably didn't go out much on their own before, but for them, the current restrictions on them lifting hatches and covers and looking for surprises are a nightmare". "I think we're a bit of a lifeline to people like that", she said. "They are a forgotten minority - no one wants to call on them, check how they are or do their shopping for them... so this is our way of saying that though you might be weird and slightly frightening, you are not alone. There are probably three or four people out there just like you".
[Ms Pruuf privately admitted that the economics of the operation depended upon there being "significantly more weirdos out there" than official statistics suggest, "otherwise we'll be relying on institutional sales and, what with the cut-backs and care-in-the-community, they don't look too rosy at present. Normally we'd expect to see them turning up in dentists' and doctors' waiting rooms but they're a dead-loss at present. It's a crap time to be launching anew magazine series and no mistake!".]
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