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Dorset's Second Smallest Theatre has a reputation which, thankfully, far exceeds its size.

The Lym Valley Theatre is pleased to announce the world premiere of Finding Brian a new play by local playwright Kurt Tindown. Offering "a brand new and wholly intriguing solution" to the evergreen "Whatever Happened to Professor Thrupiece Saga", the play is, according to febrile avant garde director Methode Achtung [Stuttgart Regietheater* Director of the Year 2019] both a tantalising whodunnit and a post-Freudian exploration of the innermost recesses of a disintigrating psyche. Sked to further explain his "concept", febrile avant garde director Herr Achtung said: "Go away and ask no more stupid qvestionz. I am busy man with many ideas and several acting people of both genders to strip to ze bone and get across".

Patrons of the Lym Valley Theatre will know that the level of performance to be expected at the theatre is equal only to the level of driving to be expected of patrons trying to get to the Theatre's remote location. Seating a total of 12 patrons, the venue is said to be amongst the smallest of its type in the country. The Cerne Abbas Shoebox Theatre [Capacity 5 "strictly abled access only"] is its only local rival in this regard. Previous productions have included Celebrating Amanda [2014][written and directed by Mrs Amanda J Threadbone], Brenda Oat's Considering Edna [2016][runner up in the the 2017 Dorset Bio-Plays Festival Awards] and Jason Stourpaine's Living with Enriqué [2018] [Anticipating-Lock-down Audience Participation Award winner]. In addition to hosting world premier productions of plays, the Theatre is also home to an Impromptu Concert Series, the receipts from which are generally applied to subsidising its loss-making drama offerings

Impromptu Concert Series

1 September 2022, 7.30pm

Jazz at the Lym: The NVMJQ* [tabor, bass viol, crumhorn and sopranino recorder) will perform works from their award winning** album Blue Frescobaldi.

* Not Very Modern Jazz Quartet

* Mannington Mirror Baroque Jazz Record of the Week 10th July 1989

The concert will feature a guest appearance by shawm-virtuoso Orthen Tissist and Historically Informed Jazz Practitioner Count Bahktu-Basics. I.4% of the Proceeds will go to the Pokesdown Period Instruments Museum. Latecomers will be admitted immediately and forced to stay for any otherwise voluntary encores.

Season Ticket holders may leave at the half-time interval if in possession of a valid excuse.

Please note no cash or items of value are kept on the premises overnight and purchases of programmes, CDs, earplugs and all artificial stimulants are on a strictly cash only basis.

* Regietheater

Our Former East German Theatre Critic Eric Harmoniker explains:

Regietheater [German for director's theater] is the modern practice of allowing a director freedom in devising the way a given opera or play is staged so that the creator's original, specific intentions or stage directions [where supplied] can be changed [ie ignored], together with major elements of geographical location, chronological situation, casting and plot. Typically such changes may be made to make a particular political point or evoke modern parallels which may be remote from traditional [ie faithful] interpretations. They may or may not [but most likely will] render the play [a] unrecognisable [b] incomprehensible and/or [c] execrable.

Examples found in Regietheater productions may include some or all of the following:

  • Relocating the story from the original location to a more modern period [including setting it in a despicable totalitarian regime eg Thatcher's Britain]

  • Modifications to the story from the original script [aka rewriting]

  • Interpretative elements stressing the role of race/gender/class-based oppression are emphasised [eg modern Britain].

  • Abstraction in the set design to the point of complete vacuity [eg an empty stage]

  • An emphasis on sexuality [gratuitous nudity is both encouraged and demanded] [eg the naked nuns in alm ost any production at the ENO in the 1980s]

  • Costumes that frequently mix eras and locales as an adjunct to confusing already bewildered audiences who can't remember which play they are supposed to be seeing. [see above]

In other words. f***ing about, f***ing it up and generally f***ing around with anything in the original which was profound, moving or directly intelligible [Ed]

Opponents accuse such producers of shallowness, crudity, sensationalism, lack of real creativity, insensitivity to the richness of the original setting, neglect of the role played by the music, and pandering to the appetites of ephemeral journalism. They have generally been taken out and shot.

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