Updated: Mar 2, 2020
dtv's latest Drama - Light House Calm, the true story of events in a remote Dorset offshore facility - is causing a drama all its own as even dedicated fans of the 24-week-long series ["four episodes stretched to twenty-four" opines the Syndling St Nicholas Sun's Telly Watchitt] are beginning to claim it may be a tad undramatic. Appreciative as they are of the long moody shots and high definition scene-setting, some are starting to wonder when and if the actual action will begin.
Typical is avid crime-watcher Beryl Bluntforce-Trauma whose daily diet of television whodunnits encompasses everything from Allo Vera to Miss Mappowder via Inspector Code, The Fridge and One of Lewis's. Having watched the first five and stayed awake through "some of them", she is now wondering if all of that investment of time is worthwhile. "As a rule, I don't mind if nothing happens in the first three episodes - it's the modern way - but after 4 or 5, I expect a bit of action. I mean it's beautiful to look at and those long nature shots are quite atmospheric, but the appearance of a few characters wouldn't go amiss and I am beginning to wonder when the murder's actually going to happen".
Bad news for Brenda is that no murder is scheduled until at least Episode 19 which airs sometime in May. Commissioning Editor for dtv's DRAMA department - Woo-Den Aak-Ting - spoke off the record yesterday amidst a rising clamour of dissatisfaction. "We admit that Light House Calm is what we in the industry call a slow burner", she said, "but we believe that those who stick with it will be very well satisfied in the end. It has a beautiful credit sequence". Others are not so sure. Dorset Drama Magazine calls it "soporific" and What's On in Cerne Abbas says "after this, I would welcome an invigorating period of absolute tedium", whilst in yesterday's Mannington Mirror's, A Doctor Writes column, the renowned anonymous GP recommends "two episodes of Light House Calm and a cup of Horlick's" as the ideal insomnia cure.
So will fans adjust to the glacial pace of the series and stick with it? Television critic Watson Thebox believes they will. "When you look at the Sunday evening schedule and what it's up against, you'd think so. Light House Calm v The Masked Minger? I'd opt for the doze any time".