When The Fun Stops ...
Educational experts rarely agree. Is learning good for everyone? Should some people be protected from the "education industry" and left to figure things out for themselves without the burden of having to submit to the fashionable mantras of the modern curriculum which now go way beyond basic acquisition of the "three Rs"?* Are the "wrong sort of books" dangerous? Is 11+ an age-appropriate test or an orinoco customer-satisfaction score? Are Universities a waste of space, time and money?**
* Reading, Writing and the Rhythm Method
** The jury is no longer out on that one; all educationalist agree: they are [Ed].
If the CONTRIK-69 crisis has proven anything then it is surely that closing schools, neutering the Pol-Pot-inspired teaching unions and accelerating the natural economic trend which for years has been steadily transforming our Higher Educational establishments into retail and real-estate opportunities, has done nothing to dampen the spirits of the nation or affected in any discernible way the quality of our children's life experience. But can the same thing be said of adults whose ability to learn or acquire new skills is scientifically-proven to diminish with age and the number of units of alcohol consumed?
Spotting what it perceives to be a gap in the "skills" market occasioned by the collapse of the "adult home entertainment sector", professorthrupiece.com has introduced a state-of-the-art home e-learning programme based on its proven formula of keeping things simple and "ramming the basics home time and time again". All of the courses and every one of the modules they contain have been road-tested on the most educationally-challenged inmates of several of Dorset's most notorious prisons, secure-hospitals and detention centres, ensuring that all of the beautifully crafted professorthrupiece.com e-schooling-branded packages are guaranteed to be as "intelligence-blind"** as they are certifiably unaffordable.
** Is that a term? [Ed] It is, apparently, to the project managers - proving, if nothing else, that linguistic and communication skills are not part of the deal [Sub Ed].
In promoting the feisty initiative, the busy Marketing Department of parent company Threadbone Edukashon is taking few risks and sparing no expense. Indeed they are backing the project to the hilt by employing stars as bankable as Shelley-Lulette Sizemore and Brenda Oats to front the advanced publicity. A spokesperson for Ms Sizemore said that the increasingly reclusive star was delighted to be involved in the new project and that she had high hopes that, by watching some of the included videos, adult home-schoolers would be encouraged to develop their skills, particularly those of manual dexterity and precision hand-to-eye co-ordination. However, staying resolutely "on message" the spokeswoman added that it was important that home-based personally-motivated, self-educators understand and self-police their own safe limits. "A code which Ms Sizemore has always advocated and by which she has not infrequently lived is: "When the Fun stops, Stop"." " I believe it was something she learned from Professor Thrupiece himself when she fists agreed to become his muse".
Exclusive to readers of proferssorthrupiece.com: THAT PROMOTIONAL VIDEO