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2016 Thrupiece Conference, Orlando, Florida

The 2016 Thrupiece Conference opened in Orlando Florida on Thursday. Delegates from all over the USA assembled to celebrate the Professor's work and abiding influence and to witness the "Thrupiece in Action" crusade which brings Professor Thrupiece's teachings to the bio-ethically challenged peoples of the world. Pastor Reinhart Bönkers (Thrupiece for All Nations) and Evangelist Dan Colander (Bio-ethics Ministries and Thrupiece Image) together with Sister Magda McKnightly (Women for Thrupiece) opened the plenary session invoking the spirit of Brian and urging attendees to embrace the - still controversial and to some apocryphal - Thrupiece Doctrine without hesitation, repetition or deviation. With ambient music under the direction of conceptual experimentalist Bryony ENO, the decidedly devotional tone of the opening session was palpable and many were moved simultaneously to renounce the primitive constructs of the RCCBE and to tremble in the purity of the orthodox Pro-Brianism of the RSCBE. Out of work drug addict and recovering alcoholic Spent Niedel was amongst those "called by the spirit". Mounting the stage, he recited all four verses of the Thrupiece Bio-ethics Code of Practice (1998) in perfect Mandarin, a language of which he claims to have no previous knowledge. A spokesperson for the Thrupiece Remarkable Bio-ethical Happenings Panel was not able to confirm whether this was a genuine bio-ethical event, adding that the jury was still out and "will probably decide after lunch". The conference continues.

The RSCBE and the thrupieceorganisation wish to make clear that they have no connection, official, commercial, intellectual, doctrinal or "otherwise" to the Thrupiece Conference and its organisers. All relations with the American Thrupiece Organisation (Radical Evangelical Wing) were severed in 2005. They wish to add that any references during the conference to "the living Brian" are, as far as they are concerned, purely metaphorical and/or conjectural and should not be allowed to cast doubt on the fact of his demise in a Swiss hotel room in 2005.

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