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Memorial Pole Mystery Deepens

Emerging from the shadows with renewed vigour, Mrs Amanda J Threadbone has launched a vigorous attack on memorial pole suppliers Poles'R'Us of Frome Vauchurch. Siting their inability to source a pole of sufficient girth and length properly to memorialise the late Mr Threadbone's accomplishments in this regard, Mrs Threadbone accused the Dorset suppliers of "taking their eyes off the balls" and "thereby losing focus on his end".

A memorial pole to the late motorised mini-tractor and scout enthusiast had been planned for a site next to the Late Mr Threadbone Tractor Museum in the AJTCorps grounds in Great Heaving but plans were abandoned when a pole of the required dimensions could not be sourced in a timely fashion. A spokewoman for Poles"R'Us defended the Company's efforts, telling the Pimperne People's Post that representing Mr Threadbone's remarkable stature required an erection of unusual size and that these were "hard to come by". She added that the Company had been asked to divert their efforts to other projects, in particular upgrading the poles at the Stringbonefellows Nightclub franchise since these were deemed to be no longer "fit for purpose" following new health and safety guidelines issued by Chideock Trading Standards. "Several of the clubs 'hostesses' were" she said, "suffering from irritable upper thigh syndrome, making replacement a matter of urgency before the Christmas rush". "And the requirement for ethically-sourced self-lubricating renewables is only piling Pelion on Ossa" added, classical-trained lap-top dancer Veneta Tabula-Rasa [pictured below] "it's a real Procrustean bed".

A spokesperson for Mrs Threadbone said there would be no further comment from AJTCorps since the well-regarded FTSE-listed multi-national was taking legal advice.

Poles of the type required to memorialise the late Mr Threadbone are "hard to come by".

Sourcing proles of appropriate dimension was not easy said a Poles'R'Us spokesperson, "they are very hard to come by".

Veneta Tabula-Rasa practices al fresco near Great Heaving

Veneta Tabula-Rasa exercises al fresco on the beach near Great Heaving.

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