Broadwindsor Constabulary Probe "Russian" Election Hack


A spokesperson for the Broadwindsor Constabulary confirmed this morning that investigations were continuing into the alleged hacking of DHRA computers during the recent elections for the vacant Presidency of its Historical Fiction Monitoring Committee. Widely believed to be the work of Russian Historical Fiction fanatics keen to secure the election of controversial pro-Pasternak / non-Threadbone endorsed candidate Vallery Clinton-Card, the damaging email leaks had scarred what was otherwise a straightforward win for the official DHRA insider Donatella Trapt-Gasse.


Suggestions that the recent election was compromised and undemocratic were

described as ludicrous by a spokeswoman for Mrs Threadbone

Suspicions were first aroused when the so-called Russian Bio-ethical News Agency announced that information had come into its possession indicating that Ms Trapt-Gasse had been seen "reading a modern work of non-fiction in a public place" and, still more damagingly, that she had been heard to say "Rowena Westlake is an over-weight, over-rated, over-heated purveyor of historical fictional claptrap; she is - like - total rubbish." Sources close to Mrs Threadbone were quick to counter this rumour, claiming that Ms Trapt-Gasse was merely "in favour of controlled-browsing and of maintaining a non-tax-payer-funded wall between modern and historical romantic fiction somewhere near Verwood."

Meanwhile, Mrs Clinton-Card insisted that she was "her own woman" and in thrall neither to "foreign intelligence agencies" nor her husband Gill, a former leader of the Keep Cattistock Fact-free Democratic Alliance. Mr Clinton-Card resigned from his position in the Alliance and stopped all donations to the Clinton-Card Foundation following an "incident" with a close-friend and a tubular ignitable substance.

The latest controversy is not thought likely to cast doubt on the outcome of the election in which Ms Trapt-Gasse easily won the popular vote, securing a majority of 498 thanks in part to Mrs Threadbone's 500 block votes.


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