Rock star and pop legend Ziggy Osmington (aka Nigel Threadbone) was quick to reassure his adoring public yesterday that he is not in fact dead. Following a spate of celebrity deaths, the Dorset rumour mill has been active, with some speculating that the 82 year old titan of the music scene had joined the rush and was headed down Croaked Highway for the great gig in the sky. "I am not dead", Ziggy reassured his legion of fans via his Twitter feed. 'To quote Mark Twain, "Rumours of my death have been great" ' he misquoted. Mr Osmington has a BA in American Literature from the University of Gussage St Andrew.
Speaking from his Barbados retreat where the 82 year old rock legend and pop superstar is spending Christmas, he added, "I know everyone thinks I'll be next and it wouldn't surprise me given the life I've led [Mr Osmington was once famed for having ingested 3 mini chocolate rolls and a glass of undiluted Vimto in a single session [ed]] but I'm still here and planning to re-form The Boners for a world Tour in 2017."
In his heyday the chart-topping superstar legend of rock and pop had two songs simultaneously in the UK Top 5,000, whilst his classic 1964 album "Surf'n Dorset Way" was recently released on thrupiecemedia's thriplayer and has had 3 plays in December alone.
Born Nigel Threadbone, his stage name is a tribute to the late great legend of rock and pop David Bowie-Knife and the Dorset village of his birth. His mother, Mavis Threadbone (nee Bevis-Elvis-Davis) lives in sheltered accommodation in Lydlinch and seems not to have a good word to say for him. "I haven't a good word to say for him", she told a crowd of reporters outside her home, "so if you're not with meals-on-wheels bugger off". Mavis is 99.