Slimmers the world over (as well as those who should be) will be delighted to know that - once again - the ever innovative Threadbone Corporation has sprung to their (Spring) aid. What are the two greatest challenges to the dedicated slimmer you may ask? Answer - our survey said - and 99% of all slimmers agree: Christmas and Easter!
Having already risen to the challenge of rescuing the naturally greedy at the season of our Saviour's birth by introducing their range of "Full Christmas Dinner Slimming Discs" last December, the Threadbone Corporation - worldwide manufacturers of the thrupiecediet™ - have introduced the ><0 calorie Easter Egg into their new Easter Treats range. Made from the company's patented sweetened fluff mixture, the eggs come in 3 varieties from the Brenda (a basic chocolate shell - suitable for "relatives towards whom one is obliged but not especially fond" - through the Enrique - a fuller-bodied Spanish-themed egg stuffed with a loose filling of rear-injected organic cream - to the Amanda - a fully decorated Easter-themed confection "suitable only for that special person in your life: yourself".
Head Chocolatier Coco Oeuf who has perfected the art of egg making over several weeks is proud of his achievement: "I am very proud of my achievement" he told a small crowd assembled at the Hammoon branch of the Threadbone Maison Chocolat chain. Asked whether the Amanda in particular was "a little overpriced" he said, "Well let's be honest, it costs an arm and a leg, but most slimmers need to lose at least that much body weight, so it seems like a minimum requirement. We think of it as win win". Mr Oeuf is Swiss and was formerly employed as a mini-bar replenisher at the Hotel Cornarvin, Geneva.
Subscribers to the thrupiecediet™ are eligible for a discount of 1% on orders of more than 12 eggs and are guaranteed priority delivery by Easter 2018. They should enter the codeword "RESURRECTION" in the promotional box.
The full range of Threadbone Easter Eggs will be available exclusively through Threadbones Maison Chocolat from 18 June onwards.