Panic Spreads As IBR-Related Potato Crisis Deepens
Interruption of potato supplies from Threadbone Farms to the potato industry took a further serious turn yesterday as the Fish'R Us & Chips As Well outlet in Lyme Regis announced a sharp price increase across its product range. Customers were shocked to discover that a large cod now cost more than £7 - an increase based (somewhat implausibly perhaps) on "interruption of supplies of potatoes from our normal sources". A spokesperson for Threadbone Farms confirmed that whilst the recent outbreak of IBR (Infectious Bovine Rhinotracheitis) had caused a very insignificant drop in potato yields, it had not affected fish supplies in any way, not least since they didn't supply fish. "We are are a farm for goodness sake", he added, "so we grow the usual range of farm products (except vegetables) so why on earth would we plant cod? Good Lord, we don't even have cod seeds"
Fish'R Us & Chips As Well (established 2016) have two outlets in Lyme Regis and both are considerable customer draws meaning that other Esplanade operators may also be hit by the decline in customer footfall. Lyme Regis Chamber of Commerce Director of Public Relations and People for Change Management Ms Lynn Regis said: "this could spell disaster for the smaller esplanade shops. Standard Tubular Rock sales are down 2% overall whilst sales of Novelty Rock items (particularly eggs, bacon, breasts and dog turds) are down by up to 3%".
Asked to explain the fish price hike particularly, Fish'R Us & Chips As Well Pier Head Branch Manager Bill "Fat" Fryer said "To some it might seem opportunistic and perhaps cynical. To us it looks like a very good day to bury bad news."
[ABOVE] The Fish'R Us and Chips As Well Emporium on the Esplanade, together with the Threadbone Farms Rosette displayed in their window. [BELOW] Window notice informing customers of the impact of the Threadbone Farms bio-security disaster.