World-renowned dietary experts The Threadbone Laboratories (best known for their pioneering work in extending the range and variety of thrupiecediet meals) today took the rare step of approving a non Threadbone Laboratories derived breakfast product.
Named after inventor and South Coast entrepreneur and B&B owner "Tracey" (Ms Tracey Ivbin Inyurroom), the Tracey Breakfast consists of six carefully balanced items set out in a strict clockwise rotation and an exact distance apart - variations upon which are strictly verboten!!
Endorsement of the breakfast selection came only after extensive laboratory tests and the application of rigorous quality standard controls to ensure that every single plate is identical in content, quantity and placement. This was no easy feat. "This was no easy feat" explained production manager Convey R Belt, "Getting everything in its place in the right amounts and quickly enough to keep the product at the optimum temperature was a huge challenge to our engineers - so we take our hard hats off to Tracey who just seems to be able to do it instinctively". Did perfection of the breakfast and its associated production techniques come naturally we asked Ms Ivbin Inyurroom?. "Oh no, not at all. It took years of browbeating my guests and interfering in their private matters - sometimes in their own rooms - before I got it right" the obsessive middle-aged ex-motor cycle enthusiast replied, "Sometimes I could be quite annoying I think, but they thanked me in the end to which I generally replied "You are most welcome"!" And they were... "
A spokesperson for the Threadbone Laboratories declined to confirm whether recognition of the Tracey breakfast and the award of a Threadbone Laboratories Standard of Excellence Certificate meant that the product might soon enter the thrupiecediet range. "Until we can recreate the whole thing in fluff it's a dead duck" Mr J G Mallard opined.
After years of quiet persistence, the Tracey Breakfast has reached perfection according to Threadbone Laboratory Scientists
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