Colm Thrapston in Tug-of-War Transfer Tussle
Colm Thrapston - subject of a hostile transfer bid from Melcombe Regis Rovers - is going nowhere says Spetisbury Saints boss Harry Theball. The in-form forward - Saints top-scorer last season with two goals and an attempted assist - is valued by the club at over £200 making him the most expensive player in the Checka-Bone (formerly Thrupiece Autos) Dorset Football League. "Even in an era of silly prices, that's a silly price" says football expert Jamie Redknees. "at the start of last season you could have got him for £50 (Spetisbury Saints bought him from Melbury Osmond Academicals in 2014 for £10 and a goalkeeper's away kit) and he's got to be worth less than that now".
But Melcombe boss Pep Guarderobe sees Thrapston as integral to his plans: "He's a high impact player full of running who can go all out for ten minutes and maybe make the difference. I don't see him as a regular starter - he hasn't the stamina or punctuality - but he can come on when everyone else is knackered and make that telling run. And he has his own boots and does his own kit washing so as far as I'm concerned he's a diamond."
Spetisbury owner - local restauranteur Delia Smythe - stands by her manager: "Colm is everything this club stands for - old, slow and a little bit wonky - he's an icon and losing him is unimaginable. Who else can slice the lemons and then bag you an off-side or a red card?" The fans agree: Tony and Trever Tonytrevor have followed the club for more than a year and said they would be "gu'tt'd" if Thrapston left. "He's our best player by a country mile - especially over 10 yards. If he goes, we go."
But Melcombe Horsey Mercury sports reporter Gary Line-Maker believes a deal is inevitable. "When a player wants away there's not much you can do. We live in an era of player power and Colm's got power" (Believed to be 3 AAAs and 2 AAs all nearly new and fully charged, though reportedly NOT Duracell). And the asking price? "Well there's always a premium for home grown Dorset players over foreign imports", Gary adds, "they know the territory, they know the league, they know the game: some of them even have ball skills and you can't put a price on that - well you can - apparently around 200 quid but that's way over the odds."
In any event the "will he won't he" saga looks like going down to the wire. Both teams are now in pre-season training with friendlies against Overcombe Boys XI, Marshwood Scouts, Woodyates Wanderers Reserves and Todber Girls.
Colm Thrapston was unavailable for comment though his agent Philgary Neville-Neville said he was "relaxed" about the situation: "In fact he's asleep. In bed, I think, or maybe on the sofa".
Impeccable sources say Colm Thrapston is on the move and is set to become the most expensive player in the Checka-Bone (formerly Thrupiece Autos) Dorset Football League.