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A TOTaL Experience for All The Family

In recognition of the school holidays and in anticipation of the Bank Holiday Weekend [5-7 August in Dorset, other counties may vary; check online for details] The Original Thrupiece Laboratories [TOTaL] Experience has launched a countywide advertising campaign in the hope of attracting visitors.

Aware that feckless parents are unlikely to see the holidays as anything other than an opportunity to farm their children out to other parents and/or nannies and/or relatives in distant parts of the country, the attraction's owners (The Threadbone Corporation) have stressed the educational value of the tour and the degree to which those parents who do not take advantage of the opportunity to visit are letting themselves, their children and the nation down.

Tour Executive - Dr Seymore Exhibits - said "The newly restored laboratories and their contents highlight the breakthrough experiments conducted in the building over a period of more than ten years. The thrupiecediet was developed here as was much of Professor Thrupiece's early methane / space rocket fuel research; these are achievements fundamental to the well-being of every man woman and child on this planet and are they are appropriately celebrated and commercially exploited here. Who but those wanting deliberately to sabotage their child's education would fail in their duty to bring them to see what we have on offer - especially at the family rates now available online?"

Dr Exhibits also stressed the excitement currently generated by the all-new Professor Thrupiece Virtual Guide feature in which a hologram of the Professor (albeit based on a disputed image the lack of authenticity of which avoided serious copyright issues) takes visitors on a personal 4 minute tour. "It's very much up close and personal with the great man", Dr Exhibits adds, "so close in fact you can almost smell him, though in honesty I have to say that's down to gas escape from the holographic servo-drivers. As far as I am aware Professor Thrupiece himself was close to odourless."*

The Exhibition is open most weekdays except at lunch and teatime. Please check in advance. Family passes from £85 [max 3 walking members]

* A fact confirmed by Ms Shelley-Lulette Sizemore in her recent autobiography [Ed].

Posters for The Original Thrupiece Laboratories Experience are appearing all over the county. This one in Little Bredy has locals talking. Batcombe is served from Little Bredy by Threadcoach's No 6b Omnibus which runs three times per week. Local resident Arnold Slowpoke is seen rushing towards the shelter in the hope of catching Wednesday's service.

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