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Rapid U-Turn Leads To Outcry

The Dorset Institute for Sociological Research has launched a stinging attack on the The Threadbone Press over its decision to publish a Study Support Guide for its recent Ladybone title Brian's Book of Interesting Buildings and has "deplored in the strongest term's the publisher's unfavourable portrayal of sociologists, nuns and other interested parties" adding "these things are best left to the experts".

Speaking for the Institute outside its Cheselbourne Headquarters, President Professor Heinz Loopy, added a stern warning: "You mess with Society at your peril. Children are not children, they are young adults with minds and opinions of their own every bit as valid as those held by older adults whose insights, instincts and Fundamentales Erdwissen have become jaded by experience and see (or don't see) evil everywhere (or nowhere). Didn't the Lord Jesus - who as trendy left-wing liberals we entirely eschew - say "out of the mouths of babes?" It's simple: unless you have a degree from a lower tier university and a premium personal insurance plan leave derAktdesAufgeregtseinswennmaneinBuchliestundesfindetstörtdeinetiefstenGefühle* well alone".

Asked if he might be confusing sociology with psychology Professor Loopy was hesitant: "It's possible. They are much the same and I can't always remember which is which. I know I am President of one and not the other. Also, one involves a couch and the other lots of chairs. I think a beard is helpful in both cases and you definitely need a swingable fob watch if you are a psychiatrist. If you are a sociologist you can put people to sleep without the aid of inanimate objects. Now don't get me on to astronomy and astrology: that's a really tough one to crack!".

Meanwhile in Great Heaving, the RSCBE has come to the defence of the Ladybone Book Series. "They are ethical and sustainable and we look forward to many more titles. Of course they are not suitable for children; whatever gave people that idea? And, yes, we agree that adults would be wise to read them as part of an organised group preferably with a St John's Ambulance operative on site or nearby. But apart from the probability of unlocking deep childhood trauma in adults and bringing to the surface feelings better left suppressed, they are harmless enough".

A spokesperson for The Threadbone Institute for Ethical Teaching Support added "We are a big tent. We consult widely with sociologists and psychologists. If and when we understand their advice, we are generally grown up enough to ignore it. As I say it's a big tent and you can avoid people if you feel the need."

Speculation that Mrs Threadbone herself was about to step into the controversy by making a public broadcast was described by Great Heaving sources as "wide of the mark". "She's playing golf this afternoon and later attending a Save the Adults fundraiser".

* A sociological term derived from the German meaning roughly "the act of being upset by reading a book and finding it disturbs your deepest feelings"

In response to an intervention by The Dorset Institute for Sociological Research, The Threadbone Press has issued a revised schematic. CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: Leading Sociologists have NOT been drafted to discuss the value of drafting in leading sociologists; The Singing Nun (aka Julie Andrews in the blouse lent to her by Celia Notso-Pointy) has a great deal to answer for according to her critics but is blameless in the matter of Christopher Plummer's singing; a real sociologist demonstrates the profound effect of reading Brian's Book of Interesting Buildings; a picture recommended by leading psychologist Herr Professor Dr Dr Dr Dr Mathaus Bonedekker as an antidote to Post-Adolescence Stress Disorder (PASD).

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