It's Not A Fair Cop
Threadbone, Threadbone and Threadbone, corporate lawyers for the Threadbone Corporation as well as personal solicitors to Mrs Amanda J Threadbone have today issued a Press Statement designed to quell rumours that Flying Frannie, the portrait of charismatic British channel swimmer, famed Olympian and underwater synchronised dialectician Frannie Blankers-Thrupiece (1917-1985), was "acquired" by the late Professor Thrupiece by illegitimate means (viz. unauthorised removal by his own hand from the Stalingrad Gallery and Museum). It was instead, they insist, given to the Professor "by a grateful Soviet people in recognition of his pioneering help in propelling the Soviet Space programme into orbit decades earlier than might otherwise have been the case".
Conclusive CCTV evidence notwithstanding, the firm's Senior Partner Mr Joshua Threadbone-McNightly remains adamant in his denial of wrongdoing and today dismissed out of hand any suggestion of a subsequent corporate cover-up. "We remain adamant in our denial of wrongdoing and today dismiss out of hand any suggestion of a subsequent corporate cover-up", he told reporters camped outside Threadbone, Threadbone and Threadbone's Offices in the Great Heaving Business complex.
Refusing to take questions, he then handed out a press statement before rushing inside the building for an urgent appointment with his hairdresser.
That Press Statement in full:
Lawyers for the Threadbone Corporation and Mrs Amanda J Threadbone have been clear in their denial of recent allegations.