This month's edition of Unique Dorset Precipitation Magazine is largely devoted to commemorating yesterday's icy blast from the Scilly Isles: the storm of all storms which crippled much of Dorset bringing hospitals, schools, government offices and other tax-payer-funded institutions to a standstill. The storm which - as is the way with all freak weather events - shut down all public services but left private enterprise largely untouched, left a trail of non-devastation behind and a massive clear up bill which, it is expected, will have to be met by a sharp increase in Council Tax rates. Speaking on behalf of all local authority-run institutions, Councillor Nigel Overspend explained: "events such as yesterday's freak storm are, fortunately, rare but whenever they occur we have to seize the opportunity to learn lessons and increase the level of local taxation. It would be irresponsible not to do so given we have few other pretexts on which to act in this irresponsible way". So was yesterday a good day to "bury bad news"? "Obviously", Councillor Overspend responded, "with all that snow around burial was the easy option".
This month's Unique Dorset Precipitation Magazine is devoted to the Meteorological, Sociological, Psychological, Philosophical, Spiritual and Metaphysical Impact of the "Pest from the West" which has brought misery to countless dozens. Experts say it may be days - possibly a fortnight - before we can fully assess the totality of the long-term damage.
Concentrating on the natural beauty of the event as well as its deeper implications, however, Unique Dorset Precipitation Magazine has brought a naturalist's eye to proceedings offering a visual and audio treat to subscribers. Between its stunning covers (the cover features the unmistakeable landscape of East Bradpole in the snow), the souvenir edition offers photo essays as well as more philosophical reflections on the storm by leading thinkers and key representatives of the Dorset chattering classes (Rev Jesse Jackson-Fives "Snow is not just a white issue", Vanessa Michael-Phelps "How Dorset celebrities cope with snow", Angelina Notso-Jolie "Children and snow: understanding their inner feelings", Shameless Chakrabutti "Snow is a fundamental human right", Baroness Helena Kennedy-Bunkport "Snow, You and the Law: Know where you stand (or slip)" and Jermyn Street "Snow is a Labour Issue" are just some of the topics covered.)
Subscribers are also offered the opportunity to download a unique Unique Dorset Precipitation Magazine sponsored sound souvenir of the event as recorded by the Dorset "Threadbone" Meteorological Institute, whose digital servers have been especially upgraded to cope with the anticipated demand.
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