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Shock Survey Reveals Huge Gender Wage Gap

A joint report by the Dorset Office of Employment Statistics and Department of Commerce published today has revealed a shocking wage disparity at the heart of one of the county's major employers. Though not named in the report and identified only as "The T Corps", it is widely believed that the organisation in question is a well-known Great Heaving-based multi-national whose commercial, manufacturing and financial tentacles spread deep into the Dorset business fabric.

Analysts believe that the heavily redacted report is open to wide interpretation but agree that its underlying message is clear: "there is a significant gender gap between the top executive and the rest of the corporation's employees".

The influential and highly respected Fiddleford Financial Register has obtained a copy of an illustrative diagram which, according to their experts, shows that:

  • the Chief Executive [female] earns an undisclosed but presumably huge sum of money*

  • a typical upper manager [male or female] earns an "aspirational wage" [possibly as much as £20,000 pa]

  • a typical lower manager [male or female] earns a "living wage" [possibly as much as £8,000 pa]

  • a typical unskilled worker [usually of ethnic minority origin] earns the "Dorset minimum wage" [legally fixed at 99p per hour or £12 per day which ever is the lower]

So does all of this amount - incontrovertibly - to a "gender gap" as we currently understand that term? "Without question", says analyst Hugh Genics, "I mean the top executive is a woman and she earns more than anyone else in the organisation with a clear disparity between her and every other employee whether male or female. Whilst there is no evidence that men and women who are doing the same job are earning different amounts, no-one earns what Mrs Threadbone [Redacted] earns - and if that isn't a gender gap I don't know what is". ** And is there possibly an underlying ethnic dimension to the unequal wage structure at "The T Corps"? "Only in so far as the worst paid jobs are generally undertaken by ethnic minorities and that could be sheer coincidence", Mr Genics explains, "so in this respect we can't be too harsh, but than neither can we be wholly complacent: I would say there is quite a long way to go on several fronts".

* Assertion based, partly on "lifestyle observation"

** "You don't!" [Spokesperson for "The T Corps"]

THAT explosive Report in full: HERE

Evidence that "all is not well" at The T Corps is plain to see despite the heavy redaction evident in the Report

Evidence that "all is not well" at The T Corps is plain to see despite the heavy redaction evident in the Report. A spokesperson for the organisation said 'We are proud of our CEO who continues to do a terrific job for the shareholders and for herself. As our CEO herself

says, "If you want top people you have to pay top wack" '.

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