Threadbone Corporation Mounts Stiff Response.
A spokesperson for the Threadbone Corporation said that the company had a zero tolerance policy towards those taking its name in vain.
Lawyers acting on the personal instruction of Mrs Amanda J Threadbone were today heading for court in an attempt to close down the operations of Threadboners, an "adult entertainment" site which, according to Great Heaving sources has "Stolen the identity, infringed the copyright and trademark assets and brought into question the integrity" of the Threadbone Corporation.
A statement from Mr Joshua Threadbone of Threadbone, Threadbone and Threadbone [Solicitors] goes on to say:
"Whilst it is accepted that any member of the public with even the slightest acquaintance with the Threadbone Corporation and the high standards it sets for itself (including its well stated policies on ethical integrity, good business practice and scrupulous conduct as well as being nice to not very nice people in difficult circumstances) will recognise immediately the disconnect between this bogus site and the affairs of the Corporation per se, we nonetheless feel that our standing, reputation and good name have been impugned. We will, therefore, take all necessary steps to distance ourselves from this tawdry operation and, if possible, ensure that it is closed down - or at worst renamed - in the shortest possible time frame. Injunctions will be sought, enforcements will be ... err... enforced and writs will be written. There will be no further public statements at this time. Mrs Threadbone will not comment personally.
Threadboners - believed to be the work of well-known interweb pirates Bonileaks - was launched last week amidst a flurry of publicity stunts and a heavy spam campaign. Dorset Police have confirmed that they are investigating a number of complaints from members of the public who inadvertently clicked on a link contained in emails sent to their private accounts only to find themselves confronted by "images you would not want to share with your maiden aunt or a passing Betterware salesperson". These, according to Chief Constable Sir Rising Crimewave, are believed to include video footage of men and women of all ages "doing what comes naturally in the most unnatural manner". "We do not believe that all the couples involved are in legally recognised relationships let alone loving marriages", he added. No-one at Bonileaks was available for comment but their interweb digital portal home page did include a message for Sir Rising: "F**k Off You Fascist W****r". The legal case continues.
THOSE WHO HAVE REACHED AN APPROPRIATE AGE AND STATE OF MATURITY MAY VIEW THE THREADBONERS HOMEPAGE FOR BONA FIDE EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY HERE
The alleged Bonileaks site was still operational today. Bleary-eyed and plainly exhausted staff from the Sydling St Nicholas Sun were said to be monitoring it "night and day" in order to fully grasp the implications of the site and any alterations to it.