A Quiet Day In The Office?


Police breathed a collective sigh of relief today as National Thrupiece Day passed "almost without major incident". Soaring temperatures, high excitement and Threadbull™ energy drink-fuelled high jinx were expected to leave carnage in their wake, but happily organisers and local hospitals reported "a relatively quiet night" as festivities came to a climax and the public returned to their homes.


The Sydling St Nicholas Sun which had campaigned for a National Thrupiece Day was quick to report that there had been no arrests yesterday. Royal Dorset Police prefer to say that the day passed "almost without major incident"


A detailed report by the Royal Dorset Constabulary notes more than 7 incidents (8) though there is some discrepancy between the "actual" and "recorded" statistics. Asked to explain this, Royal Dorset Constabulary's Head of Data-logging - Constable Phi-Ling Clerk - said: "there are always minor differences in the statistics based on the methodologies used and the "general state of play": in any event our men were operating in difficult circumstances: they are only human and were clearly suffering from the effects of soaring temperatures, high excitement and Threadbull™ energy drink-fuelled high jinx". "Those kind of things get to you in the end", she added.

That sensational Dorset Police Report in full HERE


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