Unexpected Delights

Boutique artisanal coffee roasters ThreadCafé [a division of Threadbone Heavy Chemical Industries Inc] have today announced the launch of a brand new coffee signature range Threadcafé Lounge. First to hit the shelves will be "Unexpected Wind" a rich Italian roast, a premium blend designed for the most discerning and demanding caffeine-saturated palettes. Offering a rich oral experience with none of the usual emetic side-effects, Unexpected Wind is a feast for the eyes, the lips, the mouth and (several hours later) the nose (yours or a cohabiting friend's).

Chief blender Howell "Pinkie" Bean says that more than a decade of experience of roasting, blending and brewing the finest coffees has gone into the making of Unexpected Winds - so-called because of it's unique metabolic impact - and that it was not released until Mrs Threadbone herself had given her seal of approval. "More than a decade of experience of roasting, blending and brewing the finest coffees has gone into the making of Unexpected WInds - so-called because of it's unique metabolic impact- and it was not released until Mrs Threadbone herself had given her seal of approval", he said.

Retailing at £12.99 per 4oz pack, the ThreadCafé Lounge signature series is, of course both Threadpercolator™ and Threadfilter™ approved. Whilst far from the cheapest coffee on the market, Threadcafé believe it is by some distance the best and yet still only a precursor to even more special blends yet to come. Those interested in gaining access to an early tasting are advised that ThreadCafé Unexpected Wind Rich Italian Roast is available from all branches of Threadbucks - the high street coffee emporium of choice.

ThreadCafé Unexpected Wind Rich Italian Roast is now on sale and is expected to take coffee connoisseurs by storm. Only heavy chemical treatment techniques such as those available to a giant multinational manufacturer like the Threadbone Corporation can take a natural product and create from it the "unbelievable flavour" and "unexpected side effects" of this boutique artisanal blend.