The Annual Thrupiece Prize for Innovation in Small Electrical Appliance Design has been awarded this year to Professor Phyne Tu-Ning, Head of Research and Micro Engineering at the University of Affpuddle's Institute for Advanced Ergonomics. Widely regarded as the "Nobel Prize for Small Appliance Specialists", the Thrupiece Prize is hugely respected by industry professionals*.
*See Eve Aluator, "Thrupiece Prize is widely regarded as the Nobel Prize for Small Appliance Specialists and Hugely Respected by Industry Professionals" in On-Off: The Journal for Small Electrical Appliance Professionals, June 2017.
In the citation, awarding panel head judge Mrs Amanda J Threadbone praised Professor Tu-Ning's unorthodox approach to mechanised ear-wax removal, noting the felicitous use of synthetic materials and advanced nano-technology in his hand-held Auris Hastam-o-Flex©™ machine [Patents Pending]. "The combination of micro steam pores, high pressure smart tubing and scratch resistant high impact silicone casing points towards a radically different future for machine-based relatively pain-free ear evacuation", she said, adding that "once miniaturisation and a few niggling high-voltage electrical discharges have been successfully negotiated, the 18lb suitcase-sized device could become a practical reality in every ordinary person's bathroom, Victorian-style conservatory and live-in servant extension". "... though I wouldn't care to try it on a bouncy castle and good luck to anyone attempting to persuade Ryan Air that it's cabin baggage", she joked.
In a tribute issued on behalf of Professor Tu-Ning's employers - the University of Appuddle - Grantham Capricorn, Pro-Vice Chancellor for Education, Research, Student Affairs and On-Campus Betting Services said that the award "had come as a great surprise to anyone who knows Professor Tu-Ning and his work" adding that it gave the much beleaguered University "great hope for the future". "If Professor Tu-Ning can swing a prize of this nature then frankly anyone can", he said. Asked for further biographical details about Professor Tu-Ning, the University was coy - "Now we know he works here we'll see what we can find out and get back to you".
The prestigious Thrupiece Prize for Innovation in Small Electrical Appliance Design - the Oscar of the Hand-held Small Electrical Appliance world. Named for Professor Brian Thrupiece whose association with personal grooming science was both extensive and (perhaps fatally) intimate, the beautifully crafted trophy was made - appropriately - in Switzerland by Threadbone Fabricants de Trophées Commémoratifs SARL and sponsored by L'Autorité Suisse.