Weather Man Baffled by Cloud

Meteorologists worldwide were baffled today as a cloud appeared over the Mediterranean island of Kos ruining the holiday of dozens of tourists, several of whom are reported to come from Dorset.

​Speaking on behalf of the Royal Dorset Meteorological Services, Head of Forecasting Helda Wettfinger said the conditions were unusual and close to inexplicable. “Current conditions are unusual”, she said, “and close to inexplicable”. This despite an injection of more that £150 last year in new equipment, including a manually rotatable hand-held windmill and a 5" state-of-the-art volumetric analogue wet/dry thermometer.

Newly-promoted RDMS weather girl Martii Heltii-Peltii-Skeltii admits she may not have been appointed "purely on merit".

Holiday makers Doug and Sandy Coves of Corfe Mullen were amongst those caught in the terrifying conditions. “We were just lying there five rakis and two Heinekens to the good - Andy had her Maeve Binchy and I was into my second Dean Koonz - when suddenly it went sort of dull and I looked up.” “I could hardly believe it”, he continued, “there were this thing up in’t sky covering up sun and though I vaguely recognised it from home, out-of-context I weren’t sure what it was like. It were frightening. Everyone panicked and we headed for our rep to see if we could get our money back and perhaps a bit extra for t’shock. We’ll have a word when we get back - there’s teams of lawyers fight your case over this kind of thing. Let year we got money from Tescos when Sandy slipped in’t Car Park. It were great - paid for our holiday in Kos.

THAT CLOUD: Terrified holiday makers were not sure whether it was a natural phenomenon or an object from the beyond. Terry Ricketts from Melbury Bubb thought it might have been an atomic explosion but later admitted he had had 3 ouzos with breakfast and that "it had rather gone downhill from there".

SMXLL​