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Writer's pictureProfessor Brian Thrupiece

Premature Annunciation


Readers may be surprised to learn that the winner of the Threadbone Corporation Wordsearch/Creative Writing Competition was announced earlier this evening despite the fact that the Competition does not officially close until 12 noon on the 25th December.


Threadbone Corporation Wordsearch/Creative Writing Competition Panel hard at work. Their identities have been withheld for their own protection. They are [clockwise from the top] ; Mr Royston “Roy” Binstock [Deputy Chair]; Mrs Amanda J Threadbone [Chair], Mr Jericho Walls and Senor Jose de Los Chicos Perdidos [no relation or possibly a cousin].

Explaining this unprecedented development, a spokesperson for the Corporation (Ms Erly Doors) told reporters that the Competition had been closed early to make judging easier for the panel and to avoid disrupting their Christmas Day celebrations. "The Competition had been closed early to make judging easier for the panel and to avoid disrupting their Christmas Day celebrations" she explained. "We had a prestige panel at our disposal* but naturally they are busy people and Mrs Threadbone suggested that too many entries together with the obvious inconvenience of the original closure date had persuaded them (her) to reschedule", she continued adding in what some may regard as a suspicious coda that "In any event there was already a clear winner, so what was the point of carrying on and just disappointing m ore people?"

* Mrs Amanda J Threadbone [Chair]; Mr Royston “Roy” Binstock [Deputy Chair]; Mr Jericho Walls, Senor Jose de Los Chicos Perdidos [no relation or possibly a cousin]

Critics of the Corporation in general and its recent competitions in particular were quick to add this latest development to the "roll-call of infamy". "First we had a fixed Crossword Competition and now dirty work is at foot in the very Competition intended to restore faith in the Great Heaving institutions", Syndling St Nicholas Sun editor Ron Nasty alleged before calling on Mrs Threadbone to resign all of her positions - especially those of competition panels chair. "If the Threadbone Corporation wishes to persuade the general public that its dealings are open and fair, then we need greater transparency and a new broom", he added. "It might also help if every now and then they selected a different winner - it seems unlikely to say the least that the same person can be randomly drawn from the novelty tombola drum on each and every occasion".

Threadbone Competition's novelty tombola expert Tom Bowler disagreed. "If only one name goes into the machine then the likelihood of that name emerging after a random number of spins is and always will be 100%. There's nothing odd or suspicious about that. People who allege otherwise just don't understand probability theory."

The Winner of the 2o18 Hornimint-sponsored Threadbone Corporation Wordsearch 2018 is - amazingly - Senor Enrique de los Chicos Perdutos and the runner-up (for the second time this festive season) MS Diana Nosbig.

For a full report click on the link HERE


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