A Co-ordination Crisis And A Cris de Coeur

Dorset Veterinarians Motorised Light Infantry Lambretta Display Team member Dr Oscar Bravo-Won's 1957 Dijon-Mustard-themed 150cc LD complete with distinctive pink and white stabilisers which went missing from a Ferndown forecourt earlier this week. Barring a miriacle offer of replacement, Dr Bravo-Won will be absent from the display team "severely unbalancing" the formation.

Members of the general public well-disposed towards the up-coming National Thrupiece Day celebrations - and in particular those with a keen interest in the well-being of the Dorset Veterinarians Motorised Light Infantry Lambretta Display Team are asked to respond to a "cry for help" from their udder specialist chief organiser and team leader Dr Han-Ging Sac [FRDCV]. Addressing the Batcome NTD Organising Committee last night, a tearful and clearly over-wrought Dr Sac revealed that the team are currently "one Lambretta short of a full festival" owing to the theft of team member Oscar Bravo-Won's 1957 Dijon-Mustard-themed 150cc LD model vintage machine. Last seen on the forecourt of Frank's Garage, Ferndown where Dr Bravo-Won had briefly left it pending a "fill-up and pee-stop", the machine - or a near-identical replacement for it - is vital to the success of Wednesday's pageant. A visibly shaken Dr Bravo-Won who clearly feels he may have "let the Scooter Boys down badly" says he will long regret his delay in returning to the irreplaceable machine occasioned by his last minute and, in the event, reckless decision to purchase a Dorset Lottery Ticket "whilst he was at it". "No Lotto Prize - not even the Grand £35 draw - is worth this", he added ruefully.

This Blue 1963 Vespa VBB had been offered as a replacement by the Verwood Vespa Scooter Museum and Aquaponics Centre but subsequently deemed "inappropriate" by Dorset Veterinarians Motorised Light Infantry Lambretta Display Team colour-co-ordination scrutineers.

In the meantime the call is out for a suitable replacement which must be in good working order and preferably pre-fitted with the stabilisers Dr Bravo-Won is accustomed to deploying. The offer of a 1963 Vespa VBB in Blue has been politely but firmly declined as "inappropriate given the make and colour", but Dr Sac is keen to emphasise that all reasonable offers of help will be taken seriously. "Anyone who has a 150cc LD model, [preferably of a near-matching colour and manufactured between March and April 1957 with serial numbers ending in 8876 through to 8891] is urged to get in touch at the earliest opportunity. The display is on Wednesday which means that Oscar has less that 72 hours to accommodate himself to the machine's idiosyncrasies even as things stand. Any delay could be fatal to his wellbeing and - more importantly - to the success of the display. One wobble and we're all f****d".