A Unique Opportunity To Acquire

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Are you a broad-minded yet discerning gentlemen of this parish looking for a little something different for the weekend? Then simply enquire within ...

Bored? Dispirited? Suffering from a distinct but undefinable sense of ennui, anomie or tristesse du matin? Brighten up your life, fire up your flaccid little friend and banish the downside of loneliness and self-love with this unique opportunity to acquire a painstakingly assembled and lovingly curated set of niche magazines guaranteed to satisfy even the most jaded palette.

Just one of several very rare and valuable items unexpectedly offered for sale today and likely to raise more than just an eyebrow.

Rarely does a collection as comprehensive, distinguished or outré as this find its way onto the open market. Having been painstakingly assembled by its only previous owner [most copies are in used to good condition though some have slight discolouration, crinkling and a number of pages stuck together], this collection of over 300 individually rare and collectively exceptional male-oriented magazines is unlikely ever to be replicated let alone offered for sale again.

The whole has been acquired by us from the original owner whose circumstances have changed unexpectedly and who is, therefore, looking for a quick sale before an impending search warrant is implemented.

This highly desirable collection has become available as a result of what started as a most unhappy tale. Connoisseurs of such recherché materials are expected to be drooling at the prospect of a happy ending.

This collection will be sold only to a genuine enthusiast and any agreement to pre-purchase inquiry and/or examination will be limited to those with a serious interest in acquisition. No prudes, feminists, religious nutters, fakes, investigative reporters, equal-opportunity shaggers, undercover RDC personnel or naysayers.

Will be sold only as a complete collection, individual titles not separately purchasable. Not available from any other seller; buyer collects; terms and conditions [including bail applications] apply; sealed bids only to: What Men Want, PO Box 13, Sanford Orcas. Your activities may be monitored by the RDC's CONTRIK-69 Surveillance Authority. GUIDE PRICE £2,000 or equivalent "in kind" [c £50-£100 per hour depending on requirements].

WHILST YOU'RE HERE

We also offer overseas subscriptions to current editions of Español Húmedo y Dispuesto Niño-scout Mensual at surprisingly competitive prices. Why not keep up to date with the latest Iberian pastel de ternera by taking out an annual digital pass? Discretion assured - no suspicious plain brown envelope arrivals and no hidden cupboard space required. Transform your little friend into Mr Biggy for just £33.50 per month. For details contact [Sales@Español_Húmedo_y-Dispuesto_Niño-scout_Mensual.co.uk] or write to Darren at Sales at Español Húmedo y Dispuesto Niño-scout Mensual, PO Box 13, Sanford Orcas [whose customised package is available to personal callers].