A statement from the Sub- Editor: it has come to our attention that an egregious error was committed by the writer of yesterday's earlier communication for which we offer deep and heartfelt apologies.
Written by our University of Afpuddle-educated Punctuation and Grammar Editor, Noah Fookin-Eyedya, the title of the communication used what is sometimes referred to as the "grocer's" or "greengrocer's apostrophe" in, of all things, the phrase "Are Our University's Getting It Right?". It should, of course, have read "Are Our Universities' Getting It Right?" [No it should have read "Are Our Universities Getting It Right?" or better still "Why Are Our Universities Getting It So Wrong?" [Ed]. This, we contend, is proof, were it needed, that the value of degrees can go down as well as up.
Readers can be assured that we remain committed to the highest standards of journalism and that, ordinarily, we thoroughly vet all staff. It seems that on this occasion, however, we were a little too trusting of Noah's credentials and should have noticed that he graduated after 1986 and so takes the view that the spirit of any communication is far more important than its grammatical accuracy or semantic integrity. Formal English Language teaching is something he only encountered during his University of Afpuddle Institute for Advanced Learning postgraduate course for the Diploma in Understanding English As A Foreign Language. [Might he not have been well-advised to have studied this before his degree? [Ed]*]. Noah was born in Branscombe in 1993.
Echoing the spirit so many of Noah's school reports [the last time he was formally assessed was shortly before failing his Year 6 Stats] we can only say of ourselves on this occasion: "Needs to pay more attention" and "could certainly do better". In short, "we have let our teachers down, let the schools we went to down and most of all let ourselves down". Nostra Culpa.
We give our absolute assurance that it wont happen again whilst the present editor oversee's our daily communication's.
* The University of Afpuddle's Guidelines for Effective English Learning state: students are strongly advised to graduate before taking any of our English improvement courses lest, excessive concern over form cloud natural expressiveness in content. Advanced matters such as vocabulary, spelling, grammar, syntax and prosody are, in our considerable experience, best left to those with the time, inclination and confidence to tackle them as post-graduates. English can be a tricky language to write down and master even for native-born students who have been using it in some form for years. Foreign students who have learned English as a second language should ignore the above advice as they will have been competently taught and are likely to be better placed to cope with the demands of these courses during their freshman year.