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As Sure As ...

As sure as eggs is eggs and as night follows day, 22nd December follows 21st. And we all know what 22nd means: the announcement of Threadstone's prestigious annual Christmas Book of the Year award and promotion.

Each and every year, the nation's favourite High Street bookseller polls its staff members in order to assemble a short-list of much-loved and highly recommended Christmas reads. From that list Managing Director Mrs Amanda J Threadbone picks a single winner based on her own personal preference. She is guided, as always in this onerous task by friend, amanuensis and live-in house-boy ex-Spanish boy scout Enriqué de los Chicos Perdidos. In an unusual insight into that very personal process, Mrs Threadbone revealed earlier this year that Enrique, who understands English only a little and appreciates English literature even less [Hot Iberian Dudes Magazine excepted], has the shortlisted books translated into his native Spanish before deciding which was the least waste of the translator's time. This year's shortlist included:

Bleak Year by Charles Dickends

Global Wipeout III: Bio-Insecure Armageddon IV by Vi Russ-Conway & Jeremy Conarbyn

Living La Vida Locally by Tièrre Foure

Life's an Onion Patch: My Socially-Distanced, Self-Isolated Gardening Year by Lon-Lee Little-Petunia & Monty Doom

Christmas Fucked: Edicts, Dictats, Special Orders and Other Bits of Fun by Noris Boneston

Breath is certainly baited, pending the outcome of this year's intense deliberations, since the winner is guaranteed to more or less double his or her normal sales. [Last year's surprise pick New Decade, New Start: The Exciting World of 2020 is rumoured to have sold more than 20 copies in hardback, 30 in paperback but none second-hand. "Sales slumped around the end of March when the author's open-eyed optimism seemed marginally less than appropriate. Despite discounts and special promotions and unlike most virus-victims, they never recovered".]



Described as: "a book for our times and, given that this pox is never going away, a book for the ages as well" [from the Adjudicator's Award Statement by Sole Competition Adjudicator Mrs Amanda J Threadbone; "Brings home the misery of self-isolation in a few terrible sentences", Staff Member; "I understood a little bit: I think it means we have to stay in and take pleasures from ourselves. Thank goodness for Hot Iberian Dudes Magazine", Enriqué de los Chicos Perdidos] the winner is:

Christmas Fucked: Edicts, Dictats, Special Orders and Other Bits of Fun by Noris Boneston

Available for a limited period from all good Threadstone Bookstores. Not available on the orinoco store.

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