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Writer's pictureProfessor Brian Thrupiece

Breaking Football News #29


Mannington City have today been charged by UDFA with "kicking a football" in their Champions League game against Ibberton County last Tuesday. The game - one of the qualifying rounds for this year's Hornimint Trophy - had, in truth been a pretty dull affair up until the break with both sides showing admirable restraint in refusing all temptation to move the ball from the centre spot. But shortly after the restart, vIdeo evidence suggests that one of the Mannington players kicked the ball towards a team-mate - an action which referee Blö Wissel rightly penalised with a red card. Mannington may well have thought that was the end of the incident, but Don't Kick It campaigner Noah Kontakt asked UDFA to look at the incident again and to punish the Club as a whole for a serious breach of UDFA rules. The finding of the UDFA panel published today says that they believe Mannington not only deliberately kicked the ball but did so "with a clear intention of progressing it up the field in a possible attempt to score a goal" - an aggravated offence which moves the charge much higher up the sanctions chart.


Football expert, Studds Uppe says Mannington have form when it comes to the UDFA Champions League, having previously been charged by the governing body with "knowingly allowing spectators into their stadium on match day", "permitting the singing of the National Anthem before a game", "allowing the crowd to boo the UDFA flag" and "signing a player from another team". Only last season, one spectator removed his gloves at half time during the game against Bettiscombe Rovers and was banned for life. The Club was fined £5 million. Several commentators believe that this clear pattern of ill-discipline will count against Mannington, with Dorset TV's Welsh pundit Bleyddn Obvious predicting the club will receive a heavy fine, a stadium ban, exclusion form the Competition and possibly de-registration from the Dorset Football Association. "They might even confiscate all the Club's assets and donate them to a rival team of the disciplinary panel's choice: the Sky's the limit in this kind of thing and when they take against a club, boy do they take against them".

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