Brian Bunter: A Stout But Brief Riposte

An angry/sorrowful reader writes:

As a longstanding and fully paid-up member of UPTAS, the [Unofficial] Professor Thrupiece Appreciation Society [Corfe Mullen Branch], I wish to refute in the strongest possible terms recent allegations that the esteemed missing-presumed-absent Culinary Bio-ethicist was in any way a model or inspiration for the fictional schoolboy Brian Bunter.

The long and well-documented history of the Professor's sporting achievements in both his youth and all too short maturity [football, cricket, tennis, bob-sleigh, golf, quoits and horizontal jogging to name but a few] are surely in themselves sufficient to prove the illogicality of the connection; but to this I add the appended proof of the young schoolboy Professor playing in the Batcombe Grammar School 2nd XI. Records show that in the memorable match between the School and the Chilfrome Academy XI on 12 June 1953, the Professor scored 3 runs and enjoyed his best ever bowling figures [0 for 123 in 4 overs]. So how could such an obvious all-rounder possibly be the inspiration for Richmel Compton-Abbas's hapless overweight "fat owl of the Remove"? Always excepting, of course, that, given his unusually appealing and irresistible character, the Professor could be the inspiration for almost anything. I rest my considerable case [as the ingénu said to the cleric].

Sincerely

Wisden Blofeld [Minor]

Branch Cheer-Leader, [Unofficial] Professor Thrupiece Appreciation Society [Corfe Mullen]

PS It goes without saying - though your strap-line appears to think otherwise - that I write more in sorrow than in anger.

WB [M]

The young schoolboy Professor Thrupiece playing for the Batcombe Grammar School 2nd XI in the match with Chilfrome Academy XI on 12 June 1953. His bowling was often described as wayward, varying alarmingly in both line and length. But, according to schoolboy friend Danvers "Leggy" Frampton, he "occasionally came good with a chinaman disguised as a wrong 'un that came out of the back of his hand by accident". How he could have been linked to the fictional schoolboy Brian Bunter remains a mystery.