CONTRIK-69: The Final Reckoning?
The reputation, credibility and honour of former Dorset health supremo Sir Riously Menn-Dayschus was left in tatters yesterday when messages leaked by internet pirates Bonileaks revealed that he and his equally wicked colleagues had "invented the CONTRIK-69 [Coronabyn Multiplex Inventum] virus out of thin air" and that "the whole sorry episode had been the biggest con-trick ever perpetrated against a public wholly unable to think for itself".
Whilst this will be a source of deep satisfaction to the sceptics [see most professorthrupiece.com daily briefings for the period in question eg HERE] it raises serious issues concerning the responsibility of ministers to tell the truth, of officials to behave responsibly, of scientists to stick to what is laughingly still called "science" and the watchdogs to properly police the state apparatus as it is systematically weaponised to frighten, cower and otherwise browbeat a population only too eager to be "guided" by "those who know better".
Only now is the scale of the deceit becoming apparent as the careerist ambitions of those who foiled the pseudo-catastrophe upon us are exposed and the lies unearthed. The University of Afpuddle's Professor of Covert Totalitarianism, Diversity and Engineered Outcomes - Phylla Kwota - says it is a clear example of the State seeking to wrest back control from a population that "had not done as it was told during the great Brexit referendum a couple of years previously". "Clearly those in power were worried the uneducated masses were expressing opinions, showing tendencies and making moves in directions of which they generally disapproved and which they had certainly not modelled or sanctioned. Examples of populist rebellion were everywhere and it was time to reassert the post Second World War doctrine that Government knows best: hence the deployment of Operation Fear and Dread to bring us all back into line", she says*.
* professorthrupiece.com invited Professor Kwota to expand on her assertions but, receiving no response, was subsequently [un]surprised to discover that she had been granted emergency sabbatical leave, was travelling abroad and was, therefore unavailable for interview for the foreseeable future.]
The RDC has also emerged from the leaks far from unscathed with accusations that the heavy-handed tactics deployed in particular by its Wagner Heavily Orchestrated Crowd Control Division were "over the top". In defending the action of forces under his direct command, RDC Chief Sir Rising Crimewave has tweeted:
