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Courting Disaster

Not content with a single outrage - "one vicious blow never changed the world" - internet saboteurs and general mischief-makers Bonileaks have posted a second video of Professor Thrupiece in a state of vocal over-excitement.

Though the outrageous nature of the new clip must place the authenticity of the whole enterprise in even more serious doubt, those close to the heart of the Threadbone Corporation fear that the sheer volume and "accumulation" of damaging material may persuade some people otherwise. The new installment would seem to have been filmed not in a studio, but rather in the Professor's Cambridge laboratory - his signature bow-tie and labcoat being the most obvious giveaways. It is contextually accurate detail such as this which, Deputy Chair Mr Royston Binstock fears, may "add a spurious air of believability".

Today's Mappowder Mirror lends credence to the view that Professor Thrupiece was a secret kareoke fan.

Lawyers for the Threadbone Corporation - Great Heaving solicitors Messrs Threadbone, Threadbone and Threadbone - will continue to seek an injunction in the Dorset High Court today to prevent further postings and, if successful, will also move to have extant postings taken down. That said, the legal brains behind the move recognise that much of the potential damage will already have been done and will be fearful of making matters even worse by supplying the whole tawdry affair with further supplies of the now clichéd "oxygen of publicity". "It is", said a visibly agitated Mr Joshua Threadbone "a fine line to tread and something of a tightrope to walk".

"In any given situation, there are always unpleasant as well as evil-minded people who are ready to think the worst", an official thrupieceorganisation spokesperson - Perce Swaytham-Otherwyze - said today. "Where fecal matter is flung, particles, however minute, inevitably stick and smell no less unpleasant for being dishonestly manufactured and disseminated", he went on before sharply changing metaphors: "some will say there's no smoke without fire - as any boy scout trained in survival skills and personally groomed by the late Mr Threadbone would be the first to confirm - and this kind of attitude will be trotted out by the hoi polloi in its typically thoughtless, cruel and unthinking way.

* Hoi polloi (/ˌhɔɪ pəˈlɔɪ/; Greek: οἱ πολλοί, hoi polloi, "the many") is an expression from Greek that means the many or, in the strictest sense, the people. In English, it has been given a negative connotation to signify the masses, hence Mr Swaytham-Otherwise's derogatory usage. [Ed]

In the meantime and pending the injunction we take this opportunity to share the second video not, we hasten to add because we believe for one moment that it is anything other than a fake, but because our journalistic duty remains to bring all such matters before the public so that they can make up their own feeble minds.


HAVE YOUR SAY: Do you think yesterday's and today's video clips are authentic? Answers on a postcard to The Great Professor Thrupiece SInging Debate, PO Box #234, Great Heaving Dorset. The first respondent to give a negative indication will receive a personal letter from Mrs Amanda J Threadbone herself. Those giving a positive indication will receive an entirely different letter - and possibly a personal visit - from Sir Rising Crimewave, Chief Constable of the RDC.

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