For The Love of Rabin?

Top model, authoress and Dorset celebrity Ms Shelley-Lulette Sizemore was today forced to deny rumours that she has undergone radical cosmetic surgery at the hand of well-known celebrity shape-changer Dr Goodat Nöcker-Boosting whose Tinckleton Clinic is a popular destination for any celebrity with the money to say yes but not the brain to say no. Famous clients in the past have included Chèr Amio, Richard Toppe-Gear, Leslie Ashe-Blonde, Jordan Eddie and Victoria Principle-Secret.

According to reports in today's Sydling St Nicholas Sun, Ms Sizemore booked into the clinic on 2 January this year and left only three days ago after undergoing a series of procedures including: Facial Rejuvenation [Facelift, Eyelid Lift, Neck Lift, Brow Lift]; Facial Contouring [Rhinoplasty, Chin and Cheek Enhancement]; Skin Rejuvenation [Laser Resurfacing, Botox™®, Filler Treatments]; Breast Enhancement [Augmentation and Lift] as well as Overall Body Contouring [Tummy Tuck, Liposuction, Gynecomastia and "You Can Stand Your Beer On It Shelf-Style"™® Arse Enlargement]. The Sun further alleges that much of the work was undertaken at the behest of Ms Sizemore's new beau Mr Rabin Cupriethe on whose arm she was spotted at the DRADA Awards ceremony late last year.

A spokesperson for Ms Sizemore said today: "Ms Sizemore has been out of the spotlight for much of this year as a result of an ear infection which has laid her pretty low. Only now she getting to her feet again are the effects of her condition clear: she is finding it hard to balance, frequently toppling forwards when she stands up. She is taking time, therefore, to adjust to the changes in weight distribution which have resulted from her having had to do quite a lot of lying down. Any suggestion that she has undergone cosmetic surgery is vigorously denied".

Meanwhile, the Sydling St Nicholas Sun is sticking to its guns. "If that arse and those tits aren't made in Tinckleton, I'm a prize winning journalist and responsible newspaper editor", he said.

Today’s Sydling St Nicholas Sun leads with the shocking news that Ms Shelley-Lulette Sizemore whose fortress home recently featured in the Threadbone Press’s re-issue of Iconic Dorset, has gone under the knife of renowned Dorset cosmetic surgeon Dr Goodat Nöcker-Boosting.