I Don't Care What The Weatherman Says

Those looking better to understand the significant discrepancy between June's weather and the forecast for it issued by the Royal Dorset Meteorological Agency [formerly the Royal Dorset Meteorological Service]* only 10 days ago should look no further than this month's edition of Unique Dorset Weather [Summer Special] in which a gathered field of experts consider the challenges [and perils!] of Extremely Short - Quite Short Range Forecasting. Therein lies a cornucopia of opinion, debate and professional deliberation.

* The name of the Agency was changed in 2018 following the Service's prediction of a long cold, wet summer before, during and after what proved to be the driest, hottest summer since 1971. Though no heads rolled as a result, £2 million was spent of a new logo design and a change to the colour scheme.

THAT LOGO: Before [LEFT] and After [RIGHT] the £2 million rebrand.

This month's edition of Unique Dorset Weather focuses on the perils of accurate prediction.

In an intriguing contribution entitled "Instrumentation, calibration and pulse-phase algorithmic hyper-mapping", Professor Raine Gage considers the perils of variable electro-mechanical impulse distortion on micro-measurement before reaching the (to many obvious) conclusion that 150 years of scientific progress have offered little improvement on the so-called wet-finger method; whilst a lively discussion between traditionalist Dr Wind-Socke and quantum atmospheric physicist Professor Hye Gromette on the merits of employing meteorologically prescient animals and climate-aware inanimate knick-knacks ends in [colour changing crystals apart] in more or less a stalemate. Perhaps the most surprising conclusion is that of overseas contributors Herr Dr Dr Dr Pissing Döwne and his colleague Dr Knull Hypoth-Ēssiz who convincingly demonstrate that, whilst the Scandinavian preference for topless weather girls significantly improves audience ratings, there is little evidence that it improves the accuracy of forecasting. [For a previous contribution to this debate see Weather Man Baffled by Cloud HERE.]

So, as we have remarked on a previous occasion: more an art than a science. Still, as the appropriately named Ethel Waters reminded us in the intro to her timeless classic Jeepers Creepers, a stoic attitude, plastic cape and waterproof sandwich box is all a body needs to make the most of a traditional British Summer! Oh and - of course - a podcast of the latest forecast from the RDMA!

I don't care what the weatherman says When the weatherman says it's raining You'll never hear me complaining I'm certain the sun will shine

I don't care how the weather vane points When the weather vane points to gloomy It's gotta be sunny to me When your eyes look into mine

[Lyrics courtesy of A. Major Flood [2002] Waters, Waters Everywhere, She Must Have Had A Drink: The Collected Lyrics of Ethel Waters, Threadbone Press]