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I Don't Care What The Weatherman Says

Those looking better to understand the significant discrepancy between June's weather and the forecast for it issued by the Royal Dorset Meteorological Agency [formerly the Royal Dorset Meteorological Service]* only 10 days ago should look no further than this month's edition of Unique Dorset Weather [Summer Special] in which a gathered field of experts consider the challenges [and perils!] of Extremely Short - Quite Short Range Forecasting. Therein lies a cornucopia of opinion, debate and professional deliberation.

* The name of the Agency was changed in 2018 following the Service's prediction of a long cold, wet summer before, during and after what proved to be the driest, hottest summer since 1971. Though no heads rolled as a result, £2 million was spent of a new logo design and a change to the colour scheme.

THAT LOGO: Before [LEFT] and After [RIGHT] the £2 million rebrand.
THAT LOGO: Before [LEFT] and After [RIGHT] the £2 million rebrand.

This month's edition of Unique Dorset Weather focuses on the perils of accurate prediction.
This month's edition of Unique Dorset Weather focuses on the perils of accurate prediction.

In an intriguing contribution entitled "Instrumentation, calibration and pulse-phase algorithmic hyper-mapping", Professor Raine Gage considers the perils of variable electro-mechanical impulse distortion on micro-measurement before reaching the (to many obvious) conclusion that 150 years of scientific progress have offered little improvement on the so-called wet-finger method; whilst a lively discussion between traditionalist Dr Wind-Socke and quantum atmospheric physicist Professor Hye Gromette on the merits of employing meteorologically prescient animals and climate-aware inanimate knick-knacks ends in [colour changing crystals apart] in more or less a stalemate. Perhaps the most surprising conclusion is that of overseas contributors Herr Dr Dr Dr Pissing Döwne and his colleague Dr Knull Hypoth-Ēssiz who convincingly demonstrate that, whilst the Scandinavian preference for topless weather girls significantly improves audience ratings, there is little evidence that it improves the accuracy of forecasting. [For a previous contribution to this debate see Weather Man Baffled by Cloud HERE.]

So, as we have remarked on a previous occasion: more an art than a science. Still, as the appropriately named Ethel Waters reminded us in the intro to her timeless classic Jeepers Creepers, a stoic attitude, plastic cape and waterproof sandwich box is all a body needs to make the most of a traditional British Summer! Oh and - of course - a podcast of the latest forecast from the RDMA!

I don't care what the weatherman says When the weatherman says it's raining You'll never hear me complaining I'm certain the sun will shine

I don't care how the weather vane points When the weather vane points to gloomy It's gotta be sunny to me When your eyes look into mine

[Lyrics courtesy of A. Major Flood [2002] Waters, Waters Everywhere, She Must Have Had A Drink: The Collected Lyrics of Ethel Waters, Threadbone Press]

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