top of page

It Was The Wrong Thing To Do

In an "exclusive" interview with the DBC, former Stringbonefellow's co-owner "Prince" Humphrey Whisky-McNightly [half of Dorset's much-feted "royal" couple] has finally conceded that spending the night at the home of a mystery woman was "the wrong thing to do" and that he had "let the side down badly"; not least by exposing to ridicule his French-Canadian former porn star and Olympic horizontal jogger-wife Renault Megan. "It was not the "royal" thing to do", he conceded in an emotional no-holds-barred confession to the DBC's Emily Flocke-Matress!

Not Out of the Woods Yet can further reveal that the far-from retired and even further from retiring playboy and about-town lothario has told his cousin Lady Eumust Bejoe-King that "he did not sleep in his own bed on the night in question". Former girlfriend Ford Caprice confirms that Mr Whisky-McNightly, "knows his way around the bedroom" and that he is "no slouch in the lights-out and let's see what we've got here department". "Prince" Humphrey is 83, his wife is 48-28-34 and should, close friends agree, be seriously worried.

Former Stringbonefellow's co-owner "Prince" Humphrey Whisky-McNightly has bowed to pressure to explain himself, though PR experts say the ill-advised media foray may simply open up a whole new can of worms.

Can of Worms

Rumours that the "Prince" has been consorting with various females as well as keeping company with a number of high profile US undesirables have been in circulation for some time, though staff close to him have always denied any wrong-doing. One woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons has even claimed that he 'touched her inappropriately "somewhere near the lingerie outlet"', though Ms Ezie Virtue of 12 Manningtree Lane, Corfe Mullen later withdrew all charges.

In the meantime, Ms Megan is said to be furious at her husband's insistence that he should go public "to clear his name" and "put things to bed", telling several luncheon companion friends that he would have been better off following her own advice that "what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom". "The only things he's good at putting to bed are mystery women and some dodgy US undesirables", Ms Flocke-Matress added, her smug expression and tousled hair suggesting that she might be speaking from deep and probably very recent personal experience.

6 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page