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Last Resorting?


Put the words "Dorset" and "enterprise" together and what do you have? Why a tautology of course! Long famed for its entrepreneurial felicity [aka money-grubbing expertise - "How do you fleece a sheep?" - "Take it to Dorset"], the men and women of Dorset were coming up with ideas and turning a fast buck long before Professor Thrupiece's famed thrupiecediet officially put the county on the map and even longer before the now global tentacles of both the thrupieceorganisation and the Threadbone corporation began to sprout and grow.


This week's Dorset Enterprise Weekly focusses on opportunities to travel, rest and recuperate whilst in self-isolating lock-down.

So it will come as no surprise to readers of this week's Dorset Enterprise Weekly to discover that the present crisis is bringing out the best in Dorset business circles. Perhaps the most headline-grabbing initiative so far comes from the famed tourist magnet that is Bincombe. Well known for its exclusivity and relatively poor DTI score [Dorset Tourist Industry's index rates resorts by the ratio of resident population to tourists; Bincombe's score is 250:1], it has realised that the current need to self-isolate as well as the restriction on more than two non-family members meeting in public, plays perfectly into its regular visitor strategy.


"We rather feel that the policy world [metaphorically speaking] has come to us in recognising that our long-held tendency to see no more than two people visiting the resort at once is the right one for the times", says Chief Town Clerk - Clerk Towne. "We believe we are the CONTRIK-69 resort de notre jour". "If you look, at our posters both ancient and modern you will see sweeping beach fronts peopled either with single people or, at most, with couples. Bincombe has always been the place to visit if you enjoy your own company and are in the habit of practising involuntary social distancing".


Dorset Enterprise Weekly reporter Quik Bucke caught up with one such visitor earlier in the week. Involuntary self-isolator and long-term unintended lock-down specialist Sol Itary was visiting Bincome for the first time. "If I had known it was so empty and so supportive of solo pleasuring I would have come years ago. This is perfect for me - no-one about, no-one to talk to and no chance of bumping into strangers - it's just like being at home".

Bincombe has long cherished its reputation for attracting almost no one.

 
 
 

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The Threadbone Corporation (AJTCorps)

The Mall

Great Heaving

West Lulworth, UK

Tel: +44 (0)1929 400000

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DISCLAIMER: Though it will be perfectly obvious that the absurd world of Professor Thrupiece and his corporate affairs is no more nor less than the product of a fevered brain, it is clearly affirmed here that any resemblance to actual persons, organisations or events is purely coincidental and that no slight or injury of any kind is intended to any person alive, dead or yet to be born.

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