At last after months of indecision, matters have come to a head and the various parties are once again out on the street vying for our support in what is, without question, not only a "once in a generation chance to make sweeping changes" but perhaps "the most divisive and potentially toxic split of our times". Forget referenda, forget traditional party loyalties, forget left and right, forget opinion polls and "politics" as we know them. This is raw, this is visceral, this is elemental and it this goes to the heart of our very identities as social animals: do we want things as they are or as we might wish them to be. The next few weeks will be decisive and those out on the streets are looking for your support. It could, sociologist Mo Bility believes, get very dark and dirty out there.
Thinking DHRA elections and the all too familiar clashing "visions" of Endersley-Kindersley v Street? Well think again. Todber United's late and much-lamented catering manager Ham Shankly once famously opined that "vol-au-vent pastry casings aren't a matter of life and death, they are much more important than that". We agree. It's the People versus Legova and decision time is looming.
So here is our quick briefing of everything you need to know before reconfirming your own particular prejudice. But hurry polls close at 10pm on 12th December!
THAT FULLY IMPARTIAL, CERTIFIED NEUTRAL, DOFCOM-APPROVED, INDEPENDENT, NON-INTERVENTIONIST, TRUSTWORTHY, REALITY-CHECKED GUIDE:
Sponsored by Dorset Radio 4
Is the TPO safe in Legova's hands? Some say yes and some say no. Those who say yes are wrong.
Is this a matter of opinion? It most certainly is but in our opinion [which being neutral we don't have and certainly won't voice] she is a disaster and you should vote to get her out.
Is she a good conductor? No.
Is her repertoire interesting? No.
Would the Board be acting ultra vires if they sacked her? This is a complex issue but absolutely not.
Will the orchestra survive without her? This requires balanced judgement and the answer will vary depending on your point of view. We asked 103 economists of the same persuasion and all 103 agree it will. The Supreme Court will also agree provided we tell them to. SO yes it's safe to get rid of her.
Is there a better candidate out there? We went to Liverpool where they have absolutely no knowledge of this matter and found that 95% agreed Jurgen Klopp would do a better job.
Will you be offering an open platform allowing the free expression of all opinions? The DBC's policy is to offer an open platform to all those who we don't no platform. This means that all those who we like and agree with us will be given as much airtime as they need to get their ideas across.
Where does Ms Legova stand on Drexit? Like us she is impartial, so votes Remain.
Does she have a view on the future of the DHRA? She is neutral on the matter and keeping an open mind. We have learned, however, that like us she is supporting a Second Referendum and Mr Street.
Who should decide? Whilst in theory, it's a matter for the TPO Board, the iconic status of the TPO makes it a matter for us all - for the people. However, this is a complex subject which is difficult to clarify in time for a People's Vote. It is, therefore, essential to maintain a democratic deficit. So we here at Radio 4 will be deciding for you by giving you honest impartial advice and persuading you with all the considerable resources at our disposal to do as we say.
Could you be clearer? Yes, get rid of her by voting NO!
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