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Personalised Topiary


The famously shy former Dorset Radio and Television presenter Hester Nicely-Pointy - better known to her family and close acquaintances as Lady Garden of Goathill - has only rarely stepped into the limelight or emerged from behind the shadow of her more flambouyant publicity-seeking organ and bowls enthusiast husband Gerald, 4th Lord Garden. Indeed little has been heard from or of Lady Garden since she granted selected journalists access to her beautiful home way back in pre-pandemic times. That arranged visit in September 2019 was as revealing as it was surprising [original article HERE] and no-one was greatly surprised by the almost complete silence that ensued thereafter. "It was almost as though she had revealed too much", says close friend and confident Harriet Uber-Cabbe. "She opened up a very private space, allowed a brief glimpse into it and almost immediately regretted it', she adds, making further references to the psychological a well as physical dangers of "shining light on magic" and "breaching the boundaries of dark inter-personal spaces".


Unlike her house, Lady Garden's new book has a front and a back!

So it comes as something of shock to discover that Lady Garden is about to become a published author, with the Threadbone Press ready to launch "The Modern Bush', Lady Garden's personal take on the art of personalised topiary. Based on a lifetime's experience of cultivating her large patch at her magnificent home -  the immaculate Puncknowle House - Lady Garden's new book lifts the veil on an intimate, rarely seen and - if friends are to be believed - seldom explored - private domain. Copiously illustrated [the photographs are credited to Lord Garden] and beautifully set out], the text explores in almost anatomical detail the ups and downs that lie at the heart of Lady Garden's fascinating obsession.


This being the demure Lady Garden's book it seems almost otiose to ask, but: should we expect any surprise revelations, any outrageous new ideas about how to go about grooming and presenting the bush area? Publicist Lan-Ding Stryp says that's highly unlikely. Lady Garden remains something of a traditionalist and firmly believes, for example, that a bush is still seen to advantage within the confines of a bed. "She has no time for the kind of exhibitionism whereby some like to put their bushes up front and centre with almost no protecting cover". To which we can only say: Amen and keep your wild ideas to yourself Hollywood!


PUBLISHERS NOTE:


Readers, particularly those inspired to try to visit Puncknowle House are advised that Lady Garden's award winning bush is not open for public inspection and entry is strictly by invitation. They are further advised that unlike the book which has a front and a back cover, the elevations of Puncknowle House are of such distinction that neither is designated the rear. Rather it has a North and a South front. Lady Garden is particularly sensitive in this regard and great offence is taken if anyone refers to her rear being better or bigger than her front.


NEXT TIME:


Ficus Nitida: The Original Hollywood Style Bush.


We ask: why does everything have to be bigger in America?


Ficus Nitida: the massive bush that can intimidate even the most self-confident of men

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