Shriven But Not Yet Panned

Updated: Mar 2, 2020


Author Dornford Sittingbourne's brother-in-law Aubrey Freeloader in conversation with a young Professor Thrupiece in April 1959 outside the Sittingbourne's family seat Marshmallow Lodge.

Never one top miss a marketing opportunity, the Threadbone Press has chosen today to relaunch its reprinted and reissued Dornford Sittingbourne series in the hope that - unlike so many of today's pancakes, it won't prove to be a terrible flop.


In a brave attempt to justify the all but unjustifiable, the Threadbone Press's temporary acting publicity chief - Holly Goquickly - said that, because his birthday fell in late February, Dornford Sittingbourne was the perfect author for Shrove Tuesday and urged those with a romantic streak and a limp wrist to "forget about tossing and get a grip on romance instead". This is not the first time the press and associated retailers Threadstones have used the flimsiest of pegs on which to hang their severely compromised literary coats.


It was a recently as last October that the Threadbone Press last tried to shift surplus Sittingbourne stock by promoting seven of his titles from their extensive back catalogue as VINTAGE SITTINGBOURNE. It followed on from - and was an attempt to ride on the coat-tails of - the unexpectedly successful VINTAGE THRUPIECE series which saw several of the Professor of Culinary Bioethics' novels re-enter the bestsellers chart. [Full story HERE].


According to the Melbury Bubb Booksellers Weekly, the Sittingbourne campaign - which cost an estimated £150,000 in MacPro Agency fees alone - shifted less than 250 books and led to a £148,000 loss. Anxious to avoid both a similar mistake and substantial land-fill fees, the publisher has this time engaged the well-known video promotions company Thredvid to do the heavy lifting. Thredvid's chief designer - Amatar Holme-Muvee - confirmed that he and his colleagues had stepped in and that they were hopeful their "full-on, high-octane, no-holds-barred wet-handkerchief emotional appeal" would do the trick. They - like their Threadbone Press masters - will be hoping the series doesn't get "panned" or fall "as flat as the pancake" they are urging us all to forgo.


 

THAT VIDEO HERE:




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