Thrupiecebusters Question TOAST Claims As Professor Takes To The New York Skies
Members of the TOAST party visiting the United States in a unique tribute to Professor Brian Thrupiece on the 50th anniversary of his appearance (in the audience, though some claim also on stage) at the Metropolitan Opera, attended a Broadway performance of the Book of Moron last night followed by an all night vigil in Bryant Park where - a number attest - a combination of vedic chanting, Buddhist meditation (under a specially imported Bodhi tree) and a fitful display by the Bradpole geriatric yoga display team induced the spirit of the Professor to make a dramatic appearance at about 1am local time.
Campbell and Conniston Baxter-Souppe were amongst those said to have been touched by the spirit [Jim Beam?] during the 25 second appearance in which the Professor "circled the Chrysler Building, accelerated towards Grand Central Terminus and disappeared "like the smile of the Chetnole cat"", and Connie was keen so show reporters a small brown stain on the lapel of her Country Casuals hacking jacket which she claimed was a fragment of ectoplasm lodged during the incident. Carrying the distinct odour of buffalo wIng barbecue sauce, the fragment was, according to a near hysterical Connie, "not being taken as seriously as it deserves to be" by local paranormal investigators.
Observers from the independent Thrupiece Sightings Authentication Authority (US branch) remained tight lipped pending a full inquiry but hinted that they might need some convincing given the levels of intoxication evident amongst members of the party. "They had clearly enjoyed a very good night out", team leader Manny Festation said, "and it was well past their normal bedtime. Alcohol, jet-lag, full-fat buffalo wings and a Broadway show can seriously affect perception in some very old people and the profile of this lot is classic. Plus they had recently experienced the trauma of a party member's arrest and that can play havoc with your receptors. We had a woman last year claimed to have seen the Professor rifling through the Ann Summers Pure Satin Adalicia Basques in her walk-in closet. Turned out to be her husband in a bolero jacket going through one of his experimental phases. You wouldn't believe the amount of barbiturates we recovered - enough to stock your average Fifehead Magna chemists for a year. Perception is a very funny thing".
Meanwhile TOAST members remain convinced of what they thought they might have seen at the time that they think they remember seeing it: "It was the Professor himself - or some simulacrum of him - without question", Al Fresco-Crapper said: "Just as I was pulling my pants back up he appeared in the sky and whispered, "now please wash your hands".