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Unexpected treasures

As reported yesterday, experts attending a recent emergency at a house near Worgret have recovered a suitcase which, having been cleared of suspicion of being a crudely constructed explosive device, was taken into protective custody in Great Heaving. I was subsequently released into the safe-keeping of the Threadbone Corporation, whose HiValuDigiRecovery® team now believe that the contents of the well-used valise may prove to be of unprecedented historical significance.

Portrait of ProfessorThrupiece at about the time of his disappearance or possibly 30 years earlier

Leaked reports suggest that much of the material contained in the no longer pristine luggage item is in a relatively fragile state and has learned that evaluation of it will, perforce, take time and great care. However, it is already clear that the contents will tell us much about the professor shortly before his departure for that fateful RSCBE conference and Awards Cermony - his interests, tastes and prediclictions - as well as about his general state of mind only months before his disappearance.

Royal Dorset Constabulary Chief Constable Sir Rising Crimewave said in a statement released in the early hours of this morning that, whilst it was too early to say exactly what light might be shed on the whole Thrupiece-Geneva incident, there was already evidence to suggest that the re-discovered materials were "fully characteristic of the collector we know Professor Thrupiece to have been and evidence that he was taking his usual robust approach to life whilst pursuing several parallel interests simultaneously". These interests are believed to include mathematical investigations [proofs of an unpublished article are amongst the finds] alongside "more conventional areas of healthy and not-so-healthy male interest". "They were doubtless all pursued in the cause of science", he added.

A man of catholic tastes, Professor Thrupiece's interests spanned the whole range of normal human interests, sometimes straying beyond.

A well-known collector of everything from scientific instruments to esoteric literature [not to mention women of a certain stripe - see below], Professor Thrupiece remains, despite numerous biographies, magazine interviews and the never-ending output of an ever curious press, something of an enigmatic figure. Once described by biographer Mrs Amanda J Threadbone as "all things to all men and quite a bit more besides to women of a certain stripe", he continues to fascinate even nearly two decades since his last sighting. Only last year a new edition of his collected shorter prose was a Threadstone's Book of the Month, a Mappowder Mirror top 100 seller and a winner of the prestigious Costa-Fortune Prize.

Just some of the rare "collectables" found amongst the contents of the recently opened "Thrupiece" suitcase.

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