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The Professor Thrupiece Guide To Home Survival

Updated: Apr 2, 2020

Citizens throughout Dorset and beyond will be deeply indebted to The Threadbone Press for its timely decision to re-issue The Professor Thrupiece Guide to Home Survival - the essential way to stay fit, sane and homicide-free whilst locked-down with family and separated from loved ones during the current crisis. Originally published in 1963 at the height of the Cold War, the volume has been "repurposed" in this newly-revised CONTRIK-69 edition and is published in The Threadbone Press's premium-price Opportunistic Reprints Series.

Press proprietor Mrs Amanda J Threadbone - who has written a new Foreword for the reprint - is said to have taken a strong personal lead in persuading the accountants that publishing the volume so long after it went out of print made financial sense. "Some people are so buried in the figures, they can't tell their arse from their abacus", she said in language strong enough to suggest that for her this really is personal. "The Professor wrote his book to be of use at a time of need. He wrote it for the ordinary men and women of the county whose daily lives are a struggle to survive and upon whom we depend to keep supermarket queues alive and social distancing relevant. This crisis is a test for all of us and if this book, written by a great man at a time of great need, is not the inspiration we are all looking for to get us all through it, then my name's not Mrs Enrique de los Chicos Perdidos".

A spokesperson later added that Mrs Threadbone has been feeling particularly emotional when she had first made her statement and that though she stood by the substance of it, certain details should not be taken too literally: especially those implying a change of name. What she had meant to say, the spokesperson added, was that "publication of the volume at this time makes sense since projected sales figures are high and the likelihood of a spooked public reaching for anything that looks like a solution means that several pounds can be added to the normal asking price. We regard this as an act of public generosity on our part to which we hope the public will react with generosity".

The Professor Thrupiece Guide to Home Survival is packed with handy DOs and DON'Ts which if followed regularly can increase the chances of surviving the current crisis - with or without a jail sentence - by up to 20%. Unlike the original edition, there are no anti-radiation mask vouchers and no discounts on pemmican; instead, readers have been provided with a NOTES page as well as a starter inspirational poem to which they are encouraged to add selections of their own.


The Professor Thrupiece Guide to Home Survival is only available to order ONLINE [either for Home delivery [expected 12.12.2021] or as a digital download:

The Professor Thrupiece Guide to Home Survival DOWNLOAD HERE

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