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Veteran Mannington Supporter Reaches Milestone


Mannington City Crest: The Club has seen its ups and downs, but a recent record deal with Hornimint has seen revenues rise by more than £125 per season.
Mannington City Crest: The Club has seen its ups and downs, but a recent record sponsorship deal with Hornimint has seen revenues rise by more than £125 per season.

A veteran supporter of Mannington City FC reaches a milestone today as he clocks up 95 years of attendance at the Hornimint Stadium. Mankell Biltong [103] has supported the side since childhood, witnessing the highs and lows of relegation [24 times] promotion [24 times] and numerous humiliating defeats alongside [more recently] Cup and League winning runs - many of the latter coming as a direct result of heavy investment by new owners The Abbott Denby Football Group. [See Gayle Cliché [2018] "We Left Nothing In the Dressing Room and Everything on the Park: A Funny Old Game of Two Halves" [Threadbone Press]]



Friends and fellow supporters Doris and Arnold Terrace are planning a surprise party for Mankell, though care home workers are unclear whether he will be in a mood to attend. "The trouble is, there's a tricky game against Evershot on the day of the party and if that goes pear-shaped it will be doom and gloom all round ... and doom and gloom and party celebration just don't go". "If it's anything like the defeat to Nottington a few weeks back he probably won't even come out of his room" says long-time carer and defeat-syndrome-by-proxy sufferer Lydia. "He can be a right grumpy bastard when he's a mind to ... and boy can he can sulk - sometimes for days on end", she added, remembered pain etched on her every feature.


The Hornimint Stadium, Mannington with [INSET] Mr Biltong in younger days.  "Back then I could "go" on my own.
The Hornimint Stadium, Mannington with [INSET] Mr Biltong in younger days. "Back then I could "go" on my own.

Dorset Casino outlets are currently offering decent odds on a Mannington victory given Evershot's poor home form, but as every Mannington supporter knows, Evershot are "something of a bogey team" [nickname "The Snotties"] and Mankell admits he's worried. "I'm worried", he says "as every Mannington supporter knows, Evershot are "something of a bogey team" '.


So, looking back on 95 years, what are the highlights? "Beating Todber United 5-0 at their place ... Lifting the Dorset Premiere League Trophy the first time round [beating Todber on goal difference] and having a damned good turn out last week. I'd been corked for days. Mind you, it was like playing Hamlet: a very hard piece."


A Cake of Two Halves: Mr Biltong's Celebration Cake: the upper half represents his lifelong love of Mannington City FC, the lower celebrates last week's "more private" achievement.

 
 
 

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DISCLAIMER: Though it will be perfectly obvious that the absurd world of Professor Thrupiece and his corporate affairs is no more nor less than the product of a fevered brain, it is clearly affirmed here that any resemblance to actual persons, organisations or events is purely coincidental and that no slight or injury of any kind is intended to any person alive, dead or yet to be born.

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