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Wasted Youth?


We are grateful to the Sydling St Nicholas Sun's Football Correspondent, Onnme Edd, for the following informative note:




The Melcombe Regis Team at the Melplash Junior Regional Finals with Gorse [MIDDLE SECOND FROM LEFT], Hawthorn [MIDDLE SECOND FROM RIGHT] and Broom [TOP FAR RIGHT]. Captain Pip Squeak [BOTTOM CENTRE] was from a comparatively privileged background and became a ballperson in later life.

"Seeing the picture of the three Straggleybeard's in your recent post I was reminded of the time when, as a cub reporter, I was sent to cover the Melplash Junior Regional Finals in which Melcombe Horsey were slated to play Melcombe Regis in the semis. It was a dull, dogged and, to be frank, rather tedious affair until Melcombe Regis coach - a former scoutmaster and hen-pecked martinet who went by the name of Mr Threadbone - decided to switch a young Hawthorn Straggleybeard to the right wing and to move cousin Broom into central defence. This freed the then lightening-quick Gorse to go straight through the middle. The stalemate was duly broken when a quick forward pass from Broom followed by an adventurous run up the wing by Hawthorn delivered the perfect cross to Gorse who did the Melcombe Horsey keeper at the far stick. Those boys may not have amounted to much in their later lives [I believe one became the master of some fly-blown Cambridge College] but they were mustard on a football pitch. What a pity they didn't get the first-class education that might have allowed them to turn into professional footballers. Who knows, by now they could have become ballpersons and role models to the young and been showered with academic honours. What a waste!". #Melcombe Regis Lives Matter


The two brothers and their cousin try - and equally clearly fail - to recreate the excitement in later life.

 
 
 

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The Threadbone Corporation (AJTCorps)

The Mall

Great Heaving

West Lulworth, UK

Tel: +44 (0)1929 400000

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DISCLAIMER: Though it will be perfectly obvious that the absurd world of Professor Thrupiece and his corporate affairs is no more nor less than the product of a fevered brain, it is clearly affirmed here that any resemblance to actual persons, organisations or events is purely coincidental and that no slight or injury of any kind is intended to any person alive, dead or yet to be born.

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