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Website Designer Accused


A website designer responsible for the aesthetics and functionality of the professorthrupiece.com website was accused today of undertaking wholly unnecessary work on the site whilst in lockdown and ordered to desist forthwith from further cosmetic tinkering. The man believed to be a retired former member of the academic staff of the University of Afpuddle's Commercial Graphics, Design and Baked-Goods Department, with nothing better to do, is said to have undertaken - on his own initiative - a clean-up and modernisation of the website in strict contravention of Paragraph B/23/ii/a[1]c of the 2020 CONTRIK-69 Working at Home during Lockdown legislation.


Neighbours say they heard police sirens in the early hours of this morning and were astonished to see a full swat team descend upon a property in Upcerne. The crack force quickly deployed CS gas canisters through the letterbox before breaking down the door. No shots were fired but after a significant commotion, they later emerged with a man in his pyjamas who onlookers say looked "as surprised as anyone" involved in the arrest. "We thought it was some sort of VE Day Re-enactment event, but once we saw the high-velocity night-sighted rifles and anti-terrorist equipment being unloaded from the five attending vehicles we realised something more serious was afoot". professorthrupiece.com has learned that the property is one of several in Dorset registered to Girton Non-Industrial Light and Magic - a wholly-owned off-shore subsidiary of the Threadbone Corporation [Dutch Antilles].

The newly designed banner of the professorthrupiece.com website is evidence that work has indeed been proceeding contrary to several new laws.

A new image of Professor Thrupiece dominates the newly designed Home Page - further evidence, if it was necessary, that unnecessary and illegal tinkering has gone on.

An ashen-faced spokesperson for professorthrupiece.com was keen to emphasise that though the man was known to them and did undertake occasional website work for the highly influential online think-tank, he was, on this occasion, working wholly independently and without instruction or authority. "Here at the offices of professorthrupiece.com we are always keen to be up to the mark and regularly review the site to see if it requires refreshment", he said. "However, we would never permit anyone in our employ to contravene the current fascist anti-perfectly-sensible-activity laws or interfere in the legitimate operations of the newly-established police state. I should also be clear that we have not made this statement under duress even though several officers from the RDC's elite Propaganda Squad were present during its composition and gave helpful legal advice from time to time".


The man - believed to be in his 60s - was later allowed to return to his ransacked home though computer equipment seized from the property remains in police hands. RDC digital forensic scientist Deep Sweepe said it was too early to say precisely what incriminating material the police were "certain to find", but that it was only a matter of time before evidence that the man in question had been "redesigning a website whilst in socially-distanced lock-down" would be discovered. "We use very sophisticated methods these days - we can source, transfer and digitally plant evidence in ways only an expert digi-forensic scientist could detect. You'd have to be as good as us to know how we'd done it. So it's a slam dunk really", he said.


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