Memorial Stone Divides Opinion
A memorial stone commissioned from celebrated mortuary artists Threadbone Stonemasons to commemorate the "late" Professor Brian Thrupiece has sharply divided Dorset opinion, polls revealed today. According to independent polsters Threadboneopinion Research, when asked whether they approved of the stone, 4% of respondents said "YES", 3% said "NO", 10% "DIDN'T KNOW" and 83% "COULDN'T GIVE A TOSS".
The stone - which will be mounted in the Foyer of The thrupiece organisation's headquarters in Great Heaving - was designed by The Threadbone Corporation's Head of Graphics, Publicity & Green Initiatives Toshiro Kyoto-Protocol and is based on an original idea by Mrs Amanda J Threadbone who has, a spokesperson said, "been waiting for the opportunity ... and for far longer than seems reasonable for a woman with a woman's needs".
Leading the group of objectors Ms Hiley Skepp-Tickle (68) explained that the opposition had no issues with the design per se which she described as "quite funky in a 1970s psychedelic sort of way" rather, she explained "It's just highly inappropriate since the Profressor is not dead". Ms Skepp-Tickle is Chairwoman of the Brian Is Not Dead Campaign, an organisation loosely linked to the Anti-Brianists who recently organised mass protests against both Shelley-Lulette Sizemore's novel "Scene of the Crime" and the film "Brian" - which defied both taste and long-established convention by using the celebrated Professor's christian name.
The beautifully crafted memorial stone - a solid piece of Dorset slate engraved in a script especially designed by the Threadbone Press's Japanese master typographer Hiro Glyf - was paid for via a non-voluntary crowd-funding scheme instigated amongst Threadbone Corporation employees. The Corporation has declined to reveal the overall cost.
Rumours that small replica versions will be available for use in private home shrines were neither confirmed nor denied by the Corporation yesterday, though it is believed that a large Threadbone Replica Resin Memorials van made several deliveries to the orinoco store late last week.
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Opinion is divided on the merits - and the need - for the recently commissioned stone: a fine example of the stonemason's art.